Thursday, April 29, 2010

Contact Lenses...

I'm on my second day of wearing contact lenses after I've pushed through with my thought to try it out - I decided to have 2-day trial of it. Reasons behind are a lot but the outstanding one is for convenience. It's so funny though, because initially, I've opted to wear eyeglasses instead, because of the same reason - convenience. Errrr.... weird huh, you may say...but just think about what I'm tryin' to draw here :P

Well, my power isn't that high but normally, I prefer to have my eye-glasses on to have a clearer and firmer view or sight of the things I'm lookin' at, especially when driving ;)... that is because I've taken note well what my driving instructor told me in a loud manner, "WEAR YOUR 'SPECS' WHEN DRIVING!"... lol, makes me smile whenever I think about it.

Anyhow, so this morning...no doubt I was struggling and having some challenges to put in the contact lenses into my eyes. Whheeww! It wasn't that easy! As I open my right eye wide and big, the song "Open the eyes of my heart Lord" echoed deep within me. As I sing the song in my mind, "open the eyes of my heart Lord, I want to see you, I want to see you", in my heart I had a revelation that until now I'm trying to figure out, organizing the thought around it so might as well write about it, hopefully at the end of this blog I'll manage to have an organized thoughts about the revelation... let's see!

When we're newly born, they say that the eyesight isn't really that clear for the first couple of weeks. This is the reason why when buying baby things, we need to buy those very colorful ones so that babies' eyes can recognize the shapes through the colors. Then as babies grow, together with all the other things that our parents do like feed us, take care of us, etc. etc., our eyes will start to transition into the 20/20 perfect eyesight. Well...along the way, as we grow older, the eyesight will eventually be blurred making our powers high that we need to do things like wearing eyeglasses (or contact lenses) to have a clearer eyesight, well for some, they use the technology side of making eye sight clear like laser, etc.

I've thought about that in the same way in our Christian life, we have the somewhat similar transition kind of thing. As baby Christians, we'll have initially a blur sight but as time goes by, with the help of our Father in heaven, we'll have a clear vision of our spiritual life - that's through the sermons of the Pastors we listen into, our own Bible reading, the leaders over us, prayers, fellowships, etc. etc. Now, here's the sad part.... as we go on with our lives, there's the tendency to be blur again making our power high for the need of eye-glasses to be able to see clearly.

Going back to the song, "Open the eyes of my heart, I want to see You", it is very clear that Him, God, who's doing it for us - opening the eyes of our hearts so that we can recognize and eventually see Him. However, we just need to ask Him to do it for us. The "asking" part should come from us. Hhhmmm.. maybe this is one of the applications of the most famous bible verse, which is being stolen by the other "secret" books saying, Ask and it shall be given to you... (Matthew 7:7)

And then...I realized that I was in the latter kind of blurriness in my spiritual life. Please don't ask me to elaborate it ya... it's kinda complicated. I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit revealed this to me and now I am pleading unto Him to give me "contact lenses" in my spiritual sight; that I may see once again clearly...His greatness, His awesomeness, His almighty power, His indescribable love and His sovereignty over my life.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Knocking on heaven^^

If there's one thing that I won't forget about this person, it's gonna be our Redang Island trip last March 2009 particularly the night I was surprisingly asked by her to sing and perform on the stage, together with Laguna Redang's entertainers that night. I don't know what's with her that I gave in to the dare forgetting that I will be humiliating my ownself to an audience of a few! Well, maybe it was probably what's with me since I've finished a glass of frozen margarita already! Good thing that the few audience were them - my friends! LOL...Believe me, it's gonna be the first and last!!! :P

That Redang trip is an unforgettable one for many I believe. It's because it has left something valuable deep within each one's heart and chronicles of sweet and fun memory! Some noted it was their first snorkeling experience, some treasured it that it helped release a certain grudge, and someone enjoyed star gazing ultimately by the beach and finally had seen a shooting star!!! Above all, it was a trip that started a simple kind of friendship that felt like it's been there all the while for somebody :) - talk about having a strength of "connectedness" huh! =P

We didn't have that much of literal personal acquaintance but implicitly, it was like we can read each other. I guess it all started when she called me once, when she was here in Penang, responding to my "hello" text message. I answered, "Is everything okay? why do you sound so soft and quiet and so not you?". I felt she smiled and just responded, "I'm at my MIL's place" (message me what's MIL :P). Then, I got it already. From then on, she would occassionaly sms me "Reached KL already" everytime they come here and return KL. Anyhow, virtually we've kept the communication goin'. These are the moments I thank God for the world wide web operating its "pros". In between's, we've talked about so much things about the reality of life - relationships, marriage, friendship, etcetera, etcetera. I manage to give my thought about her understanding the MIL and make an effort to create a good relationship; she helped me realized that I'm a normal woman so to speak when we've shared about possesiveness and insecurities. Somehow, she has shared her feelings with me that I heart her and ofcourse geared her towards the good and the positive right turn of direction! Apparently, I saw some of myself in her that made me treasure her more.

If only we had the chance to spend more time with each other in person, we could have planned a lot of things before she left. Things that would probably bond us more and nourish the gem we've found with each other - friendship. Furthermore, some stuff that perhaps will be very beneficial to her family and so-called "bestfriend" when she's gone, and thoughts that will be of help for her dearest bie to continue and move on to live life here on earth. Have you read the book or at least watched the movie "P.S. I Love You"? Something to that effect... :)

Well...it has been almost more than five months now since I hugged her for the last time and gave my last kiss on her forehead before we left at one hospital in KL. She was on her way to the operating room for surgery and us on the way back to Penang. That time, I didn't think of such an early departure she'll do as I fervently (and the rest too) plead to our Big Daddy up there to heal her and let her live in this temporary world still. But I guess, it's true indeed that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than ours. There must be a reason why those things happened but I'm just not sure what.

I've written this blog with a purpose. A purpose of paying tribute to one good friend who's temporarily gone, in which one of the people I'll be looking forward to meet again when it's my turn to go home. However, ultimately, it's for her bie, whom I considered a good friend too. A very crazy fella that I like because he's willing to jump out of the boat in the beach and who is a merman! Lame! LOL... Nah, kidding aside.... for him to take time to realize that if my friend can literally speak from heaven as I knock, she will say...

"C'mon darling, enough of sadness already! I'll "meraju" if you continune to do that! Cheer up and face the rest of your life there with enthusiasm and new beginning, a new chapter! And I don't mind at all but instead I'll help if I can be of any, and above all, continue to live life and have fun giving all the glory to Him! (I'm with him now, remember! :P)"

They said that the last sense to leave a human being is the hearing sense. As I knock on heaven, I am whispering to her all these writings from the bottom of my heart hoping that she is able to hear it.

While in mourning mode, I was somehow glad that time permitted me to see her for the last time the night before I left for Manila last December. Above all, I'm grateful to Him that He made this as part of His plan for my life - to have met Cindy Khoh Joo Hwa.

-end-