I know you're there.... I know that you know how am I feeling right now - that even myself can't really describe it clearly.
It's so vague, a mixed sentiment of sanctions and agonies.
There! I've blurted it out... through deep sighing and uncontrolling the flow of little tears.
Makes me really really wonder..when is your promise gonna be really fulfilled? As I have been wanting to ultimately experience that eternal bliss. When, there will be no more hurt and pains, no more sadness, no more bad things?
Nevertheless, what a great relief whenever I'm reminded of your great love in me. What a great strength I regain when I feel so weak.
What can I say but thanks! If only I could really embrace you physically...I would do every second of the minute, every minute of the hour and every hour of the day!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
LIFE in a Death Row!
Deep inside, I feel like bursting into crying, sobbing my whole face unto my pillow in my bedroom! However, I can't as I'm stuck here in my cubicle at work - I have to contain myself. I needed to be strong though I feel like I'm gonna collapse with the exasperations I have all over, not forgetting every uncertainties happening around not just for me but I'd say for the majority.
I realized that it seems like I'm in a death row.
fLippy is in death mode. Phone is in a 50/50 life existence. My wallet seems to be struggling into "emptiness". Economy is bad. A lot of "cut here and there" everywhere. I am totally not sure how's my family back home. Enemy is attacking me through this stupid loneliness. Some of my friends are having anxieties. What else huh? I think there's a whole lot more.
But hey guess what? There's this stranger named the Holy Spirit, who reminded me something really important.. "while all these things are happening, remember that you have the LIFE?!" I smiled, recalling John 14:6....on top of it, I thought.. hey it's Thanksgiving day (in US) so i ended up wholeheartedly uttering, "Thank You Lord!"... and suddenly.... the death row zone my mind is staring at started to shift gear and I'm reminded and enlightened with the following....
Victor introduced me to uncle Chuan, who came to the office just now, went to the car park to check the car and it's battery! Had a short free-willy ride at Uncle's back in his cool motorbike! Managed to stretch both of my hands feeling the breeze - awesome! Yesterday, Florence gave me a ride to WahLi Cafe for me to meet up and encourage a brother.... Yin-yin gave me a ride back home as well after our CATS practice.
My phone can still turn on - not so bad talk about 50/50 chances... there's hope..there's still life 50%! It's still serving me well except that I needed to be patient with the annoyance it is giving me.
My wallet? Oh still got a few bucks in there. Think it will still be enough until the next payday though. I have Him who is more than enough anyways.
Loneliness? Get lost! I've got my housemate Norlyn, colleagues like Asmaa and Brian who can really talk, Shirley who checked me during my frist day of driving to work - love it, great friends from church, from CG, from the Pinoy geng, and a whole bunch of wise stuffs to do! not to mention the "love you, love you..." text message that my mom and sister is sending to me from time to time :P
My whole family? Nah they will be fine. they should be fine. they need to know how to be fine because they know WHO can really help them be fine. It's NOT me all the time!
My job? Errr... I still have it.. why do I need to worry about it? No no no... I'm leaving it all up to Him! I am not gonna worry about it... I'm just gonna be very still before Him! I have HIM!
I am currently reading a book (Big Picture People - just started), and I'm reminded that... I should not substitute my problems and difficult circumstances for the big picture! I should be focusing and seeing the greatness of my God, the vastness of His resources, and how much He desires to involve me in His great rescue plan for the lost. Now we're talking...
With the above? I need to convince myself to look beyond all these rational things happening around. I opt to see beyond all of these things, to imagine and hope even greater things more than I can think or imagine. This is because I have a God who knows what is best for me.... a God who is truly in control of everything... a God who is more than enough. He shall supply all my needs according to His riches and glory! (Phil. 4:19) Yes, all glory be unto You!
No matter what, love you so much JC!
I realized that it seems like I'm in a death row.
fLippy is in death mode. Phone is in a 50/50 life existence. My wallet seems to be struggling into "emptiness". Economy is bad. A lot of "cut here and there" everywhere. I am totally not sure how's my family back home. Enemy is attacking me through this stupid loneliness. Some of my friends are having anxieties. What else huh? I think there's a whole lot more.
But hey guess what? There's this stranger named the Holy Spirit, who reminded me something really important.. "while all these things are happening, remember that you have the LIFE?!" I smiled, recalling John 14:6....on top of it, I thought.. hey it's Thanksgiving day (in US) so i ended up wholeheartedly uttering, "Thank You Lord!"... and suddenly.... the death row zone my mind is staring at started to shift gear and I'm reminded and enlightened with the following....
Victor introduced me to uncle Chuan, who came to the office just now, went to the car park to check the car and it's battery! Had a short free-willy ride at Uncle's back in his cool motorbike! Managed to stretch both of my hands feeling the breeze - awesome! Yesterday, Florence gave me a ride to WahLi Cafe for me to meet up and encourage a brother.... Yin-yin gave me a ride back home as well after our CATS practice.
My phone can still turn on - not so bad talk about 50/50 chances... there's hope..there's still life 50%! It's still serving me well except that I needed to be patient with the annoyance it is giving me.
My wallet? Oh still got a few bucks in there. Think it will still be enough until the next payday though. I have Him who is more than enough anyways.
Loneliness? Get lost! I've got my housemate Norlyn, colleagues like Asmaa and Brian who can really talk, Shirley who checked me during my frist day of driving to work - love it, great friends from church, from CG, from the Pinoy geng, and a whole bunch of wise stuffs to do! not to mention the "love you, love you..." text message that my mom and sister is sending to me from time to time :P
My whole family? Nah they will be fine. they should be fine. they need to know how to be fine because they know WHO can really help them be fine. It's NOT me all the time!
My job? Errr... I still have it.. why do I need to worry about it? No no no... I'm leaving it all up to Him! I am not gonna worry about it... I'm just gonna be very still before Him! I have HIM!
I am currently reading a book (Big Picture People - just started), and I'm reminded that... I should not substitute my problems and difficult circumstances for the big picture! I should be focusing and seeing the greatness of my God, the vastness of His resources, and how much He desires to involve me in His great rescue plan for the lost. Now we're talking...
With the above? I need to convince myself to look beyond all these rational things happening around. I opt to see beyond all of these things, to imagine and hope even greater things more than I can think or imagine. This is because I have a God who knows what is best for me.... a God who is truly in control of everything... a God who is more than enough. He shall supply all my needs according to His riches and glory! (Phil. 4:19) Yes, all glory be unto You!
No matter what, love you so much JC!
Monday, November 24, 2008
driving drives me crazy!
I'm in a very irregular shape to describe how awful I felt after the accident that happened just now to the car blessing I've been driving for 2days... to be exact! My mind is like a whirlwind when I was feeling the scratch in that car that I very love, feeling very sorry for it and to the owner who is very dear to me... suddenly I felt like I have no face to show already when he comes back :'(
Yes, I've managed to drive "fLippy" for 2days now. Geez.. I was so happy and I felt I had a great accomplishment the whole day yesterday...not until 10:45pm today; November 24, 2008! I bursted into crying after parking the car thru the push of an uncle because it died again! This morning I was shouting for joy that I made it to the office but tonight I was crying out loud because of what happened.
Indeed driving isn't easy! Talk about some definitions of a few friends I asked about driving - it's a commitment, it's a responsibility, and it's liberty! True... a mix of good and bad. *sigh*
This driving really drives me crazy.
My dear Lord, please forgive me for what I have done to flippy. I pray Father, that the owner will forgive me and will have patience and understanding oh please, I beg.
I ask and plead for Your daily guidance and protection. Grant me wisdom, focus and alertness whenever I'm driving....and a miracle to vanish the scratch! In Jesus name, Amen.
Yes, I've managed to drive "fLippy" for 2days now. Geez.. I was so happy and I felt I had a great accomplishment the whole day yesterday...not until 10:45pm today; November 24, 2008! I bursted into crying after parking the car thru the push of an uncle because it died again! This morning I was shouting for joy that I made it to the office but tonight I was crying out loud because of what happened.
Indeed driving isn't easy! Talk about some definitions of a few friends I asked about driving - it's a commitment, it's a responsibility, and it's liberty! True... a mix of good and bad. *sigh*
This driving really drives me crazy.
My dear Lord, please forgive me for what I have done to flippy. I pray Father, that the owner will forgive me and will have patience and understanding oh please, I beg.
I ask and plead for Your daily guidance and protection. Grant me wisdom, focus and alertness whenever I'm driving....and a miracle to vanish the scratch! In Jesus name, Amen.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
why such a contrast?
her mind is telling her..."Better not think about it so much and do not expect!",
however the heart deep within is whispering..."there's hope in it!".
It's so difficult, it's so complicated.
close friends are her "devil's advocate", becoming so cynical in every update ...
certain rude and cold actions in betweens add it up
but other personal times contradict its every part.
it's so difficult, it's so complicated.
she's quite happy & always enjoying,
but sometimes she's crying 'coz it's confusing.
i'd say...i guess she just need to be focused and still,
be very still before the Lord, she will.
choosing to believe that He shall make a way...
indeed He shall pave her day by day.
to her or not to her.. for her or not for her...
forever His, in her mind she'll always bear.
however the heart deep within is whispering..."there's hope in it!".
It's so difficult, it's so complicated.
close friends are her "devil's advocate", becoming so cynical in every update ...
certain rude and cold actions in betweens add it up
but other personal times contradict its every part.
it's so difficult, it's so complicated.
she's quite happy & always enjoying,
but sometimes she's crying 'coz it's confusing.
i'd say...i guess she just need to be focused and still,
be very still before the Lord, she will.
choosing to believe that He shall make a way...
indeed He shall pave her day by day.
to her or not to her.. for her or not for her...
forever His, in her mind she'll always bear.
Monday, November 17, 2008
"extra" extraordinary weekends!
I can feel that my body is complaining now especially my brain, as I have been pushing myself to the limit Imma say. Mind you, it's my body and not me =P But then, I've kept in mind to blog about the past 2 consecutive weekends I had, just for me to stick in my mind and in my heart. Yeah, blogging emphasizes and re-energizes my "for-keeps" experiences....and ofcourse... have I told you that I consider blogging as "cathartic"? So, I thought by doing this, after a quite good time of rest I shall be fine... this is ofcourse on top of prayers and all ya....
Oh yes, I had 2 consecutive extra extra-ordinary weekends. Why the double "extra" you may ask? Ehehehe.. this is because I choose to consider every weekend of mine "extra-ordinary" already... and what I'm gonna talk about here are like super extra..... I'll try to be as brief and direct though for the reason that so many things to take note of and to share with you aLL.
*Last last weekend*
-heLped out in the International Children's day. Prayed for all and encouraged each one via sending text message. Wore the "Hanbok" korean dress - played games and walked on the stage wearing hanbok with the dressed-up kids (can u imagine?). Glad to see everyone of my dearies to be a part of the said event.
-went dinner with good friends e.g. Esther, Baby Sean, Siew Ching, Eugene, Yoan, Deborah.
-slept over Esther's place to play with baby Sean, had a great girl talk with Esther, exposed myself more to motherhood :D - well I've had a lot of insights in between conversations and play time with the baby. Watched a bit of a movie but eventually dozed off.
-driving lesson with a friend; made me realize not to always have a DR (Delayed Reaction) but try to address the situation right then and there as much as possible.
-went to movie, Quantum of Solace with a friend and friend's friends. One liner I've noted, "Forgive her, forgive yourself". Had quite a great dinner, exposed to other persinalities once again.
*Last Weekend*
-came back from our Leader's retreat in Batu Ferringhi. Had a fun ride with Siew Ching and Eugene. Once home, managed to sneaked-in 2 hours of sleep.
-Off to Gold Coast place, some guards talked to me. Asked my name, where am I from and all those "flirty" stuffs. Errr... I was already wearing big shortpants and shirt and my hair was so messy, how can? LOL. Tere wasn't there yet so i decided to chiLL in the Ikan Bakar seaside there. Enjoyed the sound of the waves, sunset and Penang Bridge from afar.
-Tere arrived, we dressed up as we planned to have candle light dinner in 32 The Mansion Restaurant. Well... it was a sumptous meal and we noticed in the end that a bottle of red-wine served in our table was about to finish. Yes, I can drink :P but occasionally only. A friend was there playing the bass... so we requested the group to sing/play "Dahil Sa'yo". They did, Tere was very gLad! We almost went to the front and dance a sweet dance..lol.. When done, we hugged Ruby the singer (if I remember the name right!) and bid good-bye telling them we will come back!
-I've got no choice to join my friends in Slippery Senorita. Been thinking how to escape?! Then, good thing we managed to invite my Bass player friend there. I thank God, I had the reason to escape already! my little bro was there to join us for a while then i grabbed him so we can go home.
-"You can get all the boys you want Becky"...."you should always dress-up like this in church"... (he is my church-mate that's why.). Those were the phrases stuck into my mind while on our way to the carpark. I was flattered but I bursted into a loud laughter. Replied to him something like this, "Nah, I dont think so bro. You are just so lucky to see me dress up like this because i seldom do it...Only when I'm really in the mood" and added to him that "I always do the opposite one, I show the worst physical me" lol..... errr not really.. uhm maybe I am just being more to myself.. although dressing up is being me as well.
-Come Sunday, went to morning prayer meeting. Had a great prayer time with Siew Ching (again?!) and the rest in the church. Sunday service was great! Lunch time was even nicer!
-Shocked to have had the chance to go to another friend's house and be able to meet the mom and granny. Didn't expect and was quite a bit shy..lol... anyhow, my friend's mom was indeed cool.. i think if no visitors arrived we could have chatted A LOT of stuffs already! lol... this is gonna be unforgettable too.
-Experienced one great miracLe! Wento my driving lesson again but this time, I drove to the flower shop somewhere in Jelutong (if I'm not mistaken again). This is bcoz I need to buy flowers for Norlyn's surprise :P. When we came back to the car, it won't start! As in even my friend tried it a lot of times, it WONT START! We called up Adrien to ask some advice. When we're about to leave the car there, I uttered..why not i start the car again for the last time and see..... along the conversation I was already praying for the car. ALAS! the car started. IT's A BIG MIRACLE! Indeed a mustard seed of faith works! My friend drove back the car, then off we go to dinner with lunchmates! LOL. It was really cool... I've eaten lunch with Lay Ching, Tze Han, Victor, Julie, Shirley, Angeline, Felix... then dinner time I ate with the last five again including Marcus and Aunt Helen. Cute :P
-Went home but still did not rest and sleep - I cannot. I must do the bouquet for the next day's surprise for Norlyn. Well.. this is my 2nd masterpiece of flower arrangement..yayy! Monday came, I went to work so early.. Norlyn went home. As she arrived home, she called me then I picked up the call saying.."Surprise!". I'm glad she was happy... it was her first time receiving flowers... then she wondered.. how is it like to receive flowers from a guy... errr.. (wait for my blog entry about flowers k?)
That's it... yeah no wonder... that's the reason why my body was kinda complainng already. I felt the heat inside me and the physical weariness... Nevertheless...I'd say... thank God for the extra extra-ordinary weekends! More to come.
*peace out*
Oh yes, I had 2 consecutive extra extra-ordinary weekends. Why the double "extra" you may ask? Ehehehe.. this is because I choose to consider every weekend of mine "extra-ordinary" already... and what I'm gonna talk about here are like super extra..... I'll try to be as brief and direct though for the reason that so many things to take note of and to share with you aLL.
*Last last weekend*
-heLped out in the International Children's day. Prayed for all and encouraged each one via sending text message. Wore the "Hanbok" korean dress - played games and walked on the stage wearing hanbok with the dressed-up kids (can u imagine?). Glad to see everyone of my dearies to be a part of the said event.
-went dinner with good friends e.g. Esther, Baby Sean, Siew Ching, Eugene, Yoan, Deborah.
-slept over Esther's place to play with baby Sean, had a great girl talk with Esther, exposed myself more to motherhood :D - well I've had a lot of insights in between conversations and play time with the baby. Watched a bit of a movie but eventually dozed off.
-driving lesson with a friend; made me realize not to always have a DR (Delayed Reaction) but try to address the situation right then and there as much as possible.
-went to movie, Quantum of Solace with a friend and friend's friends. One liner I've noted, "Forgive her, forgive yourself". Had quite a great dinner, exposed to other persinalities once again.
*Last Weekend*
-came back from our Leader's retreat in Batu Ferringhi. Had a fun ride with Siew Ching and Eugene. Once home, managed to sneaked-in 2 hours of sleep.
-Off to Gold Coast place, some guards talked to me. Asked my name, where am I from and all those "flirty" stuffs. Errr... I was already wearing big shortpants and shirt and my hair was so messy, how can? LOL. Tere wasn't there yet so i decided to chiLL in the Ikan Bakar seaside there. Enjoyed the sound of the waves, sunset and Penang Bridge from afar.
-Tere arrived, we dressed up as we planned to have candle light dinner in 32 The Mansion Restaurant. Well... it was a sumptous meal and we noticed in the end that a bottle of red-wine served in our table was about to finish. Yes, I can drink :P but occasionally only. A friend was there playing the bass... so we requested the group to sing/play "Dahil Sa'yo". They did, Tere was very gLad! We almost went to the front and dance a sweet dance..lol.. When done, we hugged Ruby the singer (if I remember the name right!) and bid good-bye telling them we will come back!
-I've got no choice to join my friends in Slippery Senorita. Been thinking how to escape?! Then, good thing we managed to invite my Bass player friend there. I thank God, I had the reason to escape already! my little bro was there to join us for a while then i grabbed him so we can go home.
-"You can get all the boys you want Becky"...."you should always dress-up like this in church"... (he is my church-mate that's why.). Those were the phrases stuck into my mind while on our way to the carpark. I was flattered but I bursted into a loud laughter. Replied to him something like this, "Nah, I dont think so bro. You are just so lucky to see me dress up like this because i seldom do it...Only when I'm really in the mood" and added to him that "I always do the opposite one, I show the worst physical me" lol..... errr not really.. uhm maybe I am just being more to myself.. although dressing up is being me as well.
-Come Sunday, went to morning prayer meeting. Had a great prayer time with Siew Ching (again?!) and the rest in the church. Sunday service was great! Lunch time was even nicer!
-Shocked to have had the chance to go to another friend's house and be able to meet the mom and granny. Didn't expect and was quite a bit shy..lol... anyhow, my friend's mom was indeed cool.. i think if no visitors arrived we could have chatted A LOT of stuffs already! lol... this is gonna be unforgettable too.
-Experienced one great miracLe! Wento my driving lesson again but this time, I drove to the flower shop somewhere in Jelutong (if I'm not mistaken again). This is bcoz I need to buy flowers for Norlyn's surprise :P. When we came back to the car, it won't start! As in even my friend tried it a lot of times, it WONT START! We called up Adrien to ask some advice. When we're about to leave the car there, I uttered..why not i start the car again for the last time and see..... along the conversation I was already praying for the car. ALAS! the car started. IT's A BIG MIRACLE! Indeed a mustard seed of faith works! My friend drove back the car, then off we go to dinner with lunchmates! LOL. It was really cool... I've eaten lunch with Lay Ching, Tze Han, Victor, Julie, Shirley, Angeline, Felix... then dinner time I ate with the last five again including Marcus and Aunt Helen. Cute :P
-Went home but still did not rest and sleep - I cannot. I must do the bouquet for the next day's surprise for Norlyn. Well.. this is my 2nd masterpiece of flower arrangement..yayy! Monday came, I went to work so early.. Norlyn went home. As she arrived home, she called me then I picked up the call saying.."Surprise!". I'm glad she was happy... it was her first time receiving flowers... then she wondered.. how is it like to receive flowers from a guy... errr.. (wait for my blog entry about flowers k?)
That's it... yeah no wonder... that's the reason why my body was kinda complainng already. I felt the heat inside me and the physical weariness... Nevertheless...I'd say... thank God for the extra extra-ordinary weekends! More to come.
*peace out*
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Relationships...
In your friendships, in all your relationships, you will disappoint others and they will disappoint you.
That comes with the teritory of being a human. But it is NOT the truest thing. In your relationships, you have the opportunity to practice loving, to partner with God in mothering, in bringing forth life in another and having your heart enlarged by caring for another and your life enriched by sharing the adventure that life is.
-The above are quoted from a book-
That comes with the teritory of being a human. But it is NOT the truest thing. In your relationships, you have the opportunity to practice loving, to partner with God in mothering, in bringing forth life in another and having your heart enlarged by caring for another and your life enriched by sharing the adventure that life is.
-The above are quoted from a book-
Monday, November 10, 2008
'twas a success! I'm gLad =)
Can't help it to record here whiLe it was already stored in my heart =).
The pLan went weLL as I thought.. and most importantly? both of them were surprised and the common words were "embarassed but touched!"
Yes, I pLanned something in which I've done for the first time though.. surprising 2 of my friends on their "workaholic" birthdays! Been cracking my brain and shaking my heart for quite sometime as well to come-up with poems out of their names... praise God a day before, Tere's one was done whiLe manage to get SaiHo's one done just before he came in to the office.
Wait a minute... it wasn't just me though... I could have not done it fuLLy without Victor and Janet's help. Victor gave me time in accompanying to buy the fLowers! wee... and Janet did her best to give me the baLLoon pump tooL since she has forgotten to bring hers initiaLLy else my lungs are dead by now! LOL... Guys, thanks ;p
Here you go the poems:
TERESA TANEGA
Time really flies indeed it’s so fast,
Experiences we’ve had is a vast.
Reminiscin’ the past whiLe reLaxing,
Each moment we have is aLL worth keeping.
Such things are vaLued and treasured,
All those good stuffs I’ve adored.
TruLy as the days pass and go by,
Amidst aLL the Ups and Downs nearby
No way I wiLL ever say “goodbye”
Even untiL the day I wouLd die.
God wiLL be our guide by the side
Anchoring with Him, we shaLL gLide.
SAIHO YEOH
So quiet as he may seems to be,
All you have to do is spend time with thee.
Indirectly you’ll know him with gLee
He’ll knock your feet off saying..
Oh.. so do you have a problem with that? =)
Yesterday is already in the past,
Embrace your new year with a bLast.
Old age you may have literally…
Heart of yours should stay young and free!
...
The pLan went weLL as I thought.. and most importantly? both of them were surprised and the common words were "embarassed but touched!"
Yes, I pLanned something in which I've done for the first time though.. surprising 2 of my friends on their "workaholic" birthdays! Been cracking my brain and shaking my heart for quite sometime as well to come-up with poems out of their names... praise God a day before, Tere's one was done whiLe manage to get SaiHo's one done just before he came in to the office.
Wait a minute... it wasn't just me though... I could have not done it fuLLy without Victor and Janet's help. Victor gave me time in accompanying to buy the fLowers! wee... and Janet did her best to give me the baLLoon pump tooL since she has forgotten to bring hers initiaLLy else my lungs are dead by now! LOL... Guys, thanks ;p
Here you go the poems:
TERESA TANEGA
Time really flies indeed it’s so fast,
Experiences we’ve had is a vast.
Reminiscin’ the past whiLe reLaxing,
Each moment we have is aLL worth keeping.
Such things are vaLued and treasured,
All those good stuffs I’ve adored.
TruLy as the days pass and go by,
Amidst aLL the Ups and Downs nearby
No way I wiLL ever say “goodbye”
Even untiL the day I wouLd die.
God wiLL be our guide by the side
Anchoring with Him, we shaLL gLide.
SAIHO YEOH
So quiet as he may seems to be,
All you have to do is spend time with thee.
Indirectly you’ll know him with gLee
He’ll knock your feet off saying..
Oh.. so do you have a problem with that? =)
Yesterday is already in the past,
Embrace your new year with a bLast.
Old age you may have literally…
Heart of yours should stay young and free!
...
Deeply In Love
Can't help posting this one.... oh dear...
In my life
You`ve heard me say
I love you
How do I show you it`s true
hear my heart, it longs for more of you..
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you..
You have stolen my heart
I`m captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
You and I, together forever
Nothing can, stand in the way
My love for you, grows stronger each new day.
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart
I`m captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart
I`m captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
From the bottom of my heart, I utter the same words above with music... originally from Hillsongs though.. :P
In my life
You`ve heard me say
I love you
How do I show you it`s true
hear my heart, it longs for more of you..
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you..
You have stolen my heart
I`m captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
You and I, together forever
Nothing can, stand in the way
My love for you, grows stronger each new day.
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart
I`m captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart
I`m captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
From the bottom of my heart, I utter the same words above with music... originally from Hillsongs though.. :P
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Two Ironies LateLy...
"Isn't it ironic...don't you think?" This is one line from Alanis Morissette's famous song, "Ironic".
It came to my attention that in between my interactions with some friends for the past couple of weeks, the topic of sharing and conversations captured a couple of ironies that are quite relative I may say. Let me share with you those stuffs then.
1st irony: to have or not to have distinction in treating a special someone.
I can say that I am uniquely and personally close to these two "local" friends. I'm glad how I've taken note of the sharings I had with them and vice-versa. I happened to ask a friend what is his distinction between a friend (or friends) and a special one whiLe chiLLin' sometime. I received quite a surprising answer that made my eyes opened as wide as it can! lol. No distinction, the only one would be the confession. That friend of mine believes that good things should be done for everybody - it makes sense. But then, I asked myself deep inside, "errr.. I'm not talking about good things though, I asked about distinction". Well, my friend reversed the gear a bit saying... there could be but it might be a bit indirect (or implicit?)... then I replied.."hmmm.. ok, alright". On a separate occasion, I had dinner with another friend whiLe talking about ministry stuffs. I didn't quite remember how we landed to a conversation whereby this friend said something like.."ofcourse she's special among friends so my treatment is different, there should be some distinction". Take note of the word "Ofcourse" huh! Errrr... more-over this friend even cited me as an example! Grrr.. kidding..lol. "Like for instance, I simply buLLy you like that 'coz you're my friend" he bLurted.. or something like that. Then I just teased back.. so that means special someone cannot be bullied is it?. These 2 friends' commonalities? both are close to girls and both are from here (Malaysia :D). Irony: not to have or to have distinctions in treating a special someone -End of irony 1-
As for me, I will have a distinction! :P
2nd irony: propose marriage soon or not so soon?
I was quite shocked and became a little bit panicky when one of my "Pinoy" friends told me that he shall propose to his "about a month" old gf. I said, "that soon?!" Well... he has given me some strong statements to maybe somehow justified it (or was he justifying it at all to me? lolz). Somehow, I felt some firmness between those liners...but still implicitly gave him benefits of the doubt. Ofcourse, as a friend I'm concerned and gave him strong statements as well! And perhaps certain "thought-boggling" questions for him to consider. One liner that I've highlighted though is... Hasty decisions are not good! Only fools rush in! Errr.. for this kind of situations at least... and that "guys" are normally "fickLe-minded" *peace y'all!" I've honestly told him that my "says" are not to discourage him or something but instead to encourage him in making firm decisions and whatever it is, I'm cool to support him and help him in any way I can =) After about more than a couple of hours then, I remembered another friend, in which I've asked when is he going to propose to his long-time gf (i think more than 2- years already). He firmLy repLied to me, "not so soon!" I remember, I asked why? what are you waiting for? Well... he replied.. not until I get rich and give her everything she wants. Uhhmm.. there was a big question mark on my face hearing this (this is a spearate topic though). Commonalities here: both have their local chinese girlfriends and are from Pinas! Irony: propose marriage soon or not so soon - End of irony 2 -
My say? I am not reaLLy sure because I am a girL :P I personally believe that the guys should do the marriage proposal and that the girl should just hope and wait! LOL...
On a bird's eyeview and in totaLity? To each her/his own - we just need to listen to what God has to say about it and that is if we are keen enough to hear Him. NevertheLess, God will always be with us and that He is good, all the time!
It came to my attention that in between my interactions with some friends for the past couple of weeks, the topic of sharing and conversations captured a couple of ironies that are quite relative I may say. Let me share with you those stuffs then.
1st irony: to have or not to have distinction in treating a special someone.
I can say that I am uniquely and personally close to these two "local" friends. I'm glad how I've taken note of the sharings I had with them and vice-versa. I happened to ask a friend what is his distinction between a friend (or friends) and a special one whiLe chiLLin' sometime. I received quite a surprising answer that made my eyes opened as wide as it can! lol. No distinction, the only one would be the confession. That friend of mine believes that good things should be done for everybody - it makes sense. But then, I asked myself deep inside, "errr.. I'm not talking about good things though, I asked about distinction". Well, my friend reversed the gear a bit saying... there could be but it might be a bit indirect (or implicit?)... then I replied.."hmmm.. ok, alright". On a separate occasion, I had dinner with another friend whiLe talking about ministry stuffs. I didn't quite remember how we landed to a conversation whereby this friend said something like.."ofcourse she's special among friends so my treatment is different, there should be some distinction". Take note of the word "Ofcourse" huh! Errrr... more-over this friend even cited me as an example! Grrr.. kidding..lol. "Like for instance, I simply buLLy you like that 'coz you're my friend" he bLurted.. or something like that. Then I just teased back.. so that means special someone cannot be bullied is it?. These 2 friends' commonalities? both are close to girls and both are from here (Malaysia :D). Irony: not to have or to have distinctions in treating a special someone -End of irony 1-
As for me, I will have a distinction! :P
2nd irony: propose marriage soon or not so soon?
I was quite shocked and became a little bit panicky when one of my "Pinoy" friends told me that he shall propose to his "about a month" old gf. I said, "that soon?!" Well... he has given me some strong statements to maybe somehow justified it (or was he justifying it at all to me? lolz). Somehow, I felt some firmness between those liners...but still implicitly gave him benefits of the doubt. Ofcourse, as a friend I'm concerned and gave him strong statements as well! And perhaps certain "thought-boggling" questions for him to consider. One liner that I've highlighted though is... Hasty decisions are not good! Only fools rush in! Errr.. for this kind of situations at least... and that "guys" are normally "fickLe-minded" *peace y'all!" I've honestly told him that my "says" are not to discourage him or something but instead to encourage him in making firm decisions and whatever it is, I'm cool to support him and help him in any way I can =) After about more than a couple of hours then, I remembered another friend, in which I've asked when is he going to propose to his long-time gf (i think more than 2- years already). He firmLy repLied to me, "not so soon!" I remember, I asked why? what are you waiting for? Well... he replied.. not until I get rich and give her everything she wants. Uhhmm.. there was a big question mark on my face hearing this (this is a spearate topic though). Commonalities here: both have their local chinese girlfriends and are from Pinas! Irony: propose marriage soon or not so soon - End of irony 2 -
My say? I am not reaLLy sure because I am a girL :P I personally believe that the guys should do the marriage proposal and that the girl should just hope and wait! LOL...
On a bird's eyeview and in totaLity? To each her/his own - we just need to listen to what God has to say about it and that is if we are keen enough to hear Him. NevertheLess, God will always be with us and that He is good, all the time!
Monday, November 3, 2008
3 cups in a row with Him =)
Call me coffee freak! I am :P....
I have been proLonging my own agony of spending that more intimate time with him.. perhaps because there were a lot of thoughts going on my mind neglecting my souL's beloved lover. Take note of the added word "more".. 'coz somehow I think I am always spending intimate time with him already...then I recognized.. not reaLLy!
So on top of the workLoads I've got in the office, pLus that "not so new anymore news" about the economic crisis resulting to retrenchment that started my working day ...I have opted to stay away from my desk for a moment and went to one corner of the building specificaLLy to that very nice situated pantry we have, gazing at the mountains from afar. The Nescafe vendo machine served me weLL as I sit down in one tabLe, zipping my 1st cup of coffee and continued my Luke reading. Anyways, my working time has NOT started yet so I'm not using company's time for personal stuffs kay? I need to highlight this one, ofcourse! lol.
After reading Luke 13:34-35, I then had the urged to text or sms some people whom I've interacted with these past few weeks. Then there goes my 2nd cup! (health check: those cups are so small only ya?! :P) As I hit the "Send" button, I closed my eyes and smiLed. Prayed that it would somehow encourage everyone one way or another :)
Then I went back to my cube, decided to record what has just happened in here since I still have quite a couple of minutes before my next 2-hours meeting! Yaiks!
Now zipping the 3rd cup from the "roLLing store" of coffee, preparing for that meeting! StiLL my heart and my thoughts are with Him =)
I have been proLonging my own agony of spending that more intimate time with him.. perhaps because there were a lot of thoughts going on my mind neglecting my souL's beloved lover. Take note of the added word "more".. 'coz somehow I think I am always spending intimate time with him already...then I recognized.. not reaLLy!
So on top of the workLoads I've got in the office, pLus that "not so new anymore news" about the economic crisis resulting to retrenchment that started my working day ...I have opted to stay away from my desk for a moment and went to one corner of the building specificaLLy to that very nice situated pantry we have, gazing at the mountains from afar. The Nescafe vendo machine served me weLL as I sit down in one tabLe, zipping my 1st cup of coffee and continued my Luke reading. Anyways, my working time has NOT started yet so I'm not using company's time for personal stuffs kay? I need to highlight this one, ofcourse! lol.
After reading Luke 13:34-35, I then had the urged to text or sms some people whom I've interacted with these past few weeks. Then there goes my 2nd cup! (health check: those cups are so small only ya?! :P) As I hit the "Send" button, I closed my eyes and smiLed. Prayed that it would somehow encourage everyone one way or another :)
Then I went back to my cube, decided to record what has just happened in here since I still have quite a couple of minutes before my next 2-hours meeting! Yaiks!
Now zipping the 3rd cup from the "roLLing store" of coffee, preparing for that meeting! StiLL my heart and my thoughts are with Him =)
Sunday, November 2, 2008
I think I'm faLLin but a bit scared ^^
"Penang is reaLLy beautifuL!". I uttered out of the bLue last 4th of October '08 ('twas a Saturday!), whiLe my good friend was driving on the way to another friend's house in Park View. She just said, "oh yeah....it reaLLy is very beautiful!". Both of us smiled and giggLed! Staring at the trees over the mountains on the way to our destination and at the same time looking around, made me blurted it out wholeheartedLy! Moreover, it made me think how simpLe life can be in here since we just came out from the wet market to buy stuffs to cook! I'd say, it's simple but full of mysteries and adventures :)
"Penangnites (this is referring to Penang People) are so lucky because they got Penang!" This was the statement my friend said one early morning whiLe we're on the way to work, taking the coastaL road to the office. Both of us were gazing our Left side of the car window...lookin' at the sea and the trees and mountains beyond the beach as he drove along! I nodded and whisper, "Tell me about it!" then continued staring at the beautiful scene on my Left! My friend some more said, "I don't think I want to go back to where I've been from anymore and will just stay here for good!". I told him, "same here! and you've got more advantage because you have a local girlfriend!". I did some pushing to him to propose a marriage already! LOL! And then I thought, what a lame excuse to get married huh?! Then mentally punch myself out to cut the crap idea!
A whiLe ago, a friend brought me to one sea-side chiLL place somewhere in Tanjung Bunga. I've suggested to go Ayir Itam Dam since I've been wanting to be in a "literal" serene pLace to just be quiet and be still... but you know what happened already. Anyhow, I've agreed with my friend then as we reached... I smiLed deep inside 'coz I've already heard the splashing of the waves communicating to my heart instantLy. I'd say this is another place I wanna be though... so it sufficed my desire to be still. Reminded me of the song "Be Still" and as I listen siLentLy, I felt like soaring above the waves. It was about to turn dark but I tried my best to open wide my small eyes to be able to gaze the scenery, waiting for the almost completed sun-set to fuLLy submerged anticipating the stars =P
"What? Did I make you fall inlove to Penang again?" I heard this as I turn my sight to my friend's direction. I replied "he he he" and then deep inside I said, "I'd say, even more inloved!" then continued listening to the waves and feeling the cool breeze of the environment.
Oh well...I've been here in Penang for about 3 years and 1 month to be exact (as of this writing!), and as I spend my days and my life here...I can recognize that I am falling inlove to the place. Inlove in a sense that I almost don't want to let go of it, opting myself to stay here even on very special occasions we have back home. Pity myself for the remorse of missing my family & vice-versa though. You may think that I'm really having lotsa great times here in Penang that's why I'm feeling this way but you're wrong! I also have some down moments at stake and that there are also times that "tragic" stuffs happened or happening. It's just that good stuffs stand out!
With this great feeling of falling inlove with the place, comes a little bit of scary thoughts! Well, main "explicit" reason why I can still stay here is because of the job - what a blessing I consider it! I am trusting that the impLicit reason is that God wants me to be here for a purpose or maybe purposes? :)
I'm a bit scared in a way, thinking what if Penang will be taken away from me? I mean the job will suddenly swindLe and that my company decided to "shoo" me away from this specific site? lol.... Then I suddenly thought about it..."hmmm... maybe I should not Let myself be engrossed with the pLace too much or should I say...maybe I should control or stop falling for Penang so that it won't be that frustrating when time comes huh?". What do you think?
Then I began to see the issue in a different dimension - the real literal falling inlove with someone thingy! I remember telling some friends that I wish and hope not to fall inlove again so as to avoid being hurt! That's where the area of "scary" part comes in! Then a friend told me, "if you're only falling inlove when you know that you won't get hurt... then it's not love anymore at all... you're treating it as if it's just a game already... you win when you don't get hurt, you loose when you're hurt?! Is that the way it shouLd be? :S
Anyways, I've got some few items in mind to pray for about this Penang-related stuff. I also have some plans but then I am surrendering everything to God! Lord-willing... He shall grant the desires of my heart as I continue to deLight myseLf in Him.
Lord, anyhow... no matter what..I will still love You!
No matter what, I vow and opt to Love You with all my innermost being, my heart and my souL!
"Penangnites (this is referring to Penang People) are so lucky because they got Penang!" This was the statement my friend said one early morning whiLe we're on the way to work, taking the coastaL road to the office. Both of us were gazing our Left side of the car window...lookin' at the sea and the trees and mountains beyond the beach as he drove along! I nodded and whisper, "Tell me about it!" then continued staring at the beautiful scene on my Left! My friend some more said, "I don't think I want to go back to where I've been from anymore and will just stay here for good!". I told him, "same here! and you've got more advantage because you have a local girlfriend!". I did some pushing to him to propose a marriage already! LOL! And then I thought, what a lame excuse to get married huh?! Then mentally punch myself out to cut the crap idea!
A whiLe ago, a friend brought me to one sea-side chiLL place somewhere in Tanjung Bunga. I've suggested to go Ayir Itam Dam since I've been wanting to be in a "literal" serene pLace to just be quiet and be still... but you know what happened already. Anyhow, I've agreed with my friend then as we reached... I smiLed deep inside 'coz I've already heard the splashing of the waves communicating to my heart instantLy. I'd say this is another place I wanna be though... so it sufficed my desire to be still. Reminded me of the song "Be Still" and as I listen siLentLy, I felt like soaring above the waves. It was about to turn dark but I tried my best to open wide my small eyes to be able to gaze the scenery, waiting for the almost completed sun-set to fuLLy submerged anticipating the stars =P
"What? Did I make you fall inlove to Penang again?" I heard this as I turn my sight to my friend's direction. I replied "he he he" and then deep inside I said, "I'd say, even more inloved!" then continued listening to the waves and feeling the cool breeze of the environment.
Oh well...I've been here in Penang for about 3 years and 1 month to be exact (as of this writing!), and as I spend my days and my life here...I can recognize that I am falling inlove to the place. Inlove in a sense that I almost don't want to let go of it, opting myself to stay here even on very special occasions we have back home. Pity myself for the remorse of missing my family & vice-versa though. You may think that I'm really having lotsa great times here in Penang that's why I'm feeling this way but you're wrong! I also have some down moments at stake and that there are also times that "tragic" stuffs happened or happening. It's just that good stuffs stand out!
With this great feeling of falling inlove with the place, comes a little bit of scary thoughts! Well, main "explicit" reason why I can still stay here is because of the job - what a blessing I consider it! I am trusting that the impLicit reason is that God wants me to be here for a purpose or maybe purposes? :)
I'm a bit scared in a way, thinking what if Penang will be taken away from me? I mean the job will suddenly swindLe and that my company decided to "shoo" me away from this specific site? lol.... Then I suddenly thought about it..."hmmm... maybe I should not Let myself be engrossed with the pLace too much or should I say...maybe I should control or stop falling for Penang so that it won't be that frustrating when time comes huh?". What do you think?
Then I began to see the issue in a different dimension - the real literal falling inlove with someone thingy! I remember telling some friends that I wish and hope not to fall inlove again so as to avoid being hurt! That's where the area of "scary" part comes in! Then a friend told me, "if you're only falling inlove when you know that you won't get hurt... then it's not love anymore at all... you're treating it as if it's just a game already... you win when you don't get hurt, you loose when you're hurt?! Is that the way it shouLd be? :S
Anyways, I've got some few items in mind to pray for about this Penang-related stuff. I also have some plans but then I am surrendering everything to God! Lord-willing... He shall grant the desires of my heart as I continue to deLight myseLf in Him.
Lord, anyhow... no matter what..I will still love You!
No matter what, I vow and opt to Love You with all my innermost being, my heart and my souL!
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