Tuesday, August 17, 2010

A Mother's Death.

I just came back from someone's mom's wake service and I'm still overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions deep inside of me, thinking of a lot of people in my mind and in my heart. A chain of people whom I've talked to and have been thinking lately, which is somehow related to the term "mother". This someone by the way, is our senior pastor who gave such honoring remarks for his dear mother. I was delighted to know that indeed during the last days of his mother, everyone in the children were there to spend that last precious moments with their mother.

First thought was ofcourse my own dearest mother. As our Pastor shared about how his mother did her best to help his father raising the 7 of them through domestic-related jobs, saying that she's rich, I can't stop nodding my head, completely agreeing with him. Then, a flashback of my younger days came to mind. My mom doing some laundry, ironing, and other related chores in the neighborhood just for us to have something to eat while she assigned me to take care of my 2 younger sisters that time. There were also those times whereby all I have to do is pick up the spoon and fork to eat the food in the plate she has prepared before I go to work, how she tidy my room and I'd be too comfortable to have my sweet rest and a whole lot more. It reminded me as well so many very important things she has taught me that until now I value and treasure sincerely, and that is why I am where I am now. From then on, I promised myself to do my very best to make her proud, I hope I did. Well, my mother can be complicated sometimes but I really honor her, treasure her and love her. I'm grateful that she's still alive and that I can still express personally how grateful I am having her. I'm praying that she'll be here... at least until I become a mother myself. Only God knows! :D

The next one was my auntie in California - a mother too. Recently, I had the opportunity to have some little chit-chat with her over the net (the power of technology huh!) and shared a few struggles over her children. The word "patience" was stuck in my heart during the chat conversation and I just hope that she'll be fine and will continue to be prayerful and be patient with whatever is happening out there since I really dunno what's the whole story. I pray as well that as I write this, the power of the Holy Spirit will just minister upon her and her children too - my cousins, realizing the incomparable and invaluable things their mother has done and will do for them. Oh how I wish I'm just an inch away so that I can hug her and hopefully ease out her sentiments.

The third one was another friend in Chicago, whom I was shared that the mother has a breast cancer, which was recently discovered. I am more than concerned but had nothing to say during that time ('twas just last night though); or rather should I say, I dunno what good thing to say to at least console that friend. Again, how I'd hope that I was beside this friend to somehow offer a sincere warm embrace. I blurted out a child-like faith of "Let's believe for a miracle. I'll keep your mom in prayer." True enough, I dozed off to bed with a simple prayer for my friend's mother. I hope that God will acknowledge my child-like prayer, I believe JC heard about it and He'll surely answer.

Next in line were my friends who are mothers. Funny that I've got friends who are mothers here in Penang and whenever there's a party, all of them will stay in a room and discuss/share stuff about motherhood. The catch is... I'm the only one who's single that I feel ackward in joining them most of the times *peace*. However, they will force me to join their "chit-chat" saying that it's just right to learn while still single. It's something like "Motherhood 101" subject. There was one time, one of them said, today the topic is "schooling/education of kids". Deep inside, I was actually thrilled and in my mind I began to wonder when is my time. LOL.

Another one was about my boss, who's a mother. In one of our one on one session, she mentioned about her daughter saying "she's growing fast and now older". In that line were sound of worry because of much care and concern and love. Mother's really are admirable!

Last one was a recent call from a friend in Manila to give me a late greeting for my birthday. I wasn't sure how the conversation went to the topic about her mother who recently passed away too. I was glad to hear her reflections about her beloved mom and her sharing on how painful it really is to loose a mother, realizing a mother's very significance to our existence. Then the topic ended to realizing that somehow, the desire to get married is to primarily be able to experience motherhood (it sounds funny but come to think of it... I agreed with her in the end).

I recently saw a video of a mother giving birth to a child in a natural way mind you. I was just watching and I was physically exasperated already! I wonder.... how much more when I'm the one doing it. It looked awful, painful, however you may wanna describe it but I just said to myself, I want to experience that! I'd love to, given a chance! Well, based from my observations, reflections, and relationship with all walks of mothers "kinda thing", it seems really difficult and challenging but nevertheless I can see the real fulfillment, nobility, and the joy of being one in them, above all in my own mother's eyes.

To all mothers - it's not mother's day but I want to personally salute you. May God's love and grace continue to abound in your hearts! Keep up the good work! Kudos! :)

To all soon to be mothers - you're about to embark one great milestone of your lives, you'll be okay. God is good! :)

To all sons & daughters - get your relationship with your mothers right while they're still alive! Appreciate them while you still can - a simple "love you, ma!" or a hug or a kiss will do a lot. It's your big lost if you don't! :)

-end-

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

"spock"

And so finally I am blogging with a happy feeling! I must indulge this moment! Too much of sad emo-related entries already so here you go!!!

First, it was like a cardiac arrest of reviving my heart beat while I was in a heart attack breakdown! Seems like my apparently dying heart was pumped up making the straight line in that meter reader becoming quite a zigzag kind of line again. Not bad huh!

It was a some kind of a "spock" from a short circuited wiring in which the connections were essentially straighten out. It's a nice feeling eventhough I wasn't sure what will be the outcome of it. I realized I'm quite naive in this kind of stuff! Yaiks! And indeed my "bashy" me is striking like mad!

Oh well, it's the second time of supper with that "spock"! Somehow...it's nice but I don't wanna expect too much. I'm thankful that somehow, my heart beat was revived - that should be quite good enough. At least I know I'm still capable of feeling "it" and did not totally curse the so-called "feeling". As I recognized that positive cardiac arrest result, my brain waves started to function as well... hehe... well i think heart and brain working together will make a good tandem huh! But ofcourse with His guidance and will.. surely can right? LOL! I'm talking nonsense now!

I better head off to bed, got morning prayer tomorrow.

Oh by the way, it's actually "spark"!

=)