a hand 'n a kiss on the forehead ^^

The wanting to visit ReueL (a sick boy in our church) yesterday eventually took place today. I and my friends went to their house and found out that he's actually in the hospital. I am not really sure but somehow I felt only a partiaL of frustration yesterday when I learned about it. In fact, we even thought of going to the hospital at that moment but decided not to because there might be a heavy traffic on the way. And then the normal thought of having a dinner instead, came. However, one has to go off because of a prior dinner engagement.

WhiLe processing what to eat and where to, we ended up seeing another friend in the building nearby. I'd say... I was happy seeing the two of my friends (whom I've known separateLy and didn't know they are that close, can you imagine?), gLadLy smiled and teased one another, chit-chat a bit and bid goodbye eventually. I just smiled and whispered, "hmmm... that was short?! but cute and sweet huh!"

The dinner was sumptuous. What makes it splendid was the conversation that took place between each bite - giving way to a more exposed invisibility of both individuals..... *peace* ;p

Anyhow, as the scheduLe was arranged for the next day - that's today... we ended up hitting two birds in one shot! That is to finally visit the boy and this time incLuding the granny of one of us.

ReueL was about to sleep when we arrived. As we clipped the 6 balloons we bought yesterday at the feet of his bed, the little surroundings became colorfuL :). The dad was there to take care of him and managed to share a bit of what was currently happening. Florence lead all of us in prayer for the boy as I laid my hand on his forehead. I shook Dr. Andrew's hand and off we went to Victor's granny's ward.

I'm no chinese language - trying hard to scale up but pity the poor me! LOLz! - but as we arrived there, I smiled and said "hello" to the Auntie taking care of the granny... and cheerfuLLy handed the 3 red carnation fLowers over to her. After a whiLe, she sat up and took the spoon with her weak right hand, ate the porridge served. I was like... wanting to grab that spoon and feed her instead but Auntie said, "it's ok, she can feed herself" smiling to me. I felt an "ouch" deep inside and was a bit "dismay" but obeyed not to do it. As I stare at her and her hand holding the spoon, I was reminded of my mom back home and well..ofcourse..my own granny when she was still alive. I feLt i wanna hug this granny but I just simpLy cannot! Well.... I needed to contain myself else... nah I really dunno what will happen...hehehe. Little chit-chat took place in Chinese but I just did not care and continued on glancing at the old lady.

After a whiLe, I did not controL myself anymore! As my friends were like 3 steps away from the bed already, I caressed granny's pearL-white "fly away" hair and gave her a kiss on the forehead then off we go =)

- a hand 'n a kiss on the forehead -

bRiNg Me tO LiFe - this i pLead :D

The 7th miracle in the video we watched in CG this Friday (26th Sept '08) triggered me to blog something about the above titLe :). That miracle showed about a man who's already dead for like almost 3days but was brought into LIFE and was resurrected in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ! The dvd was basically about 8 miracles, which took place somewhere in South Africa as a certain evangelist ministered to the people there and preached about my dear JC!

Oh well, I consider it a super extra-ordinary Friday and it's worthy to take note weLL of it - so read on ya? ;p

Well, the "worthy" fire-starter of it was basically the excitement that I believe everyone in my CG feels as we exchanged emails about our so-called "Hari Raya BatuFerringhi lock-up" thingy. I have felt that this certain "excitement" is a mixed with a 'lil bit of worry, hesitations maybe? to top it all - hopes and fun! Following it was an sms from a friend exclaiming he's back in Penang, "nice to be back home" - kinda a big relief from my end.

Then as you may know, Fridays for me and for majority is a TGICG day! (Thank God It's CG day!). At first I thought I wanna decide to just call it off because 70% of our CG family will be in the Children Ministry's retreat but God impressed something in my heart not to. Instead, I said we'll gonna watch DVD - titLe is "MSI: Miracle Scene Investigation". We started CG with singin' "Give Thanks" then a serene prayer for first, the retreat that is happening. We prayed that everyone there will be impacted with the message and that the speaker will be anointed. Praise God! I heard a lot of good feedback and even saw it from FB status. Prayer works! Next in line was the prayer for USO! Then our Raya "wutever" and SG trip of our two CG members, then for our Euwing who's celebrating the birthday in 3.5 hours time.

As the 7th miracle being shown about the resurrected man, I recalled one of my unforgettables here in Penang - the day when my Auntie Pat died and went home with the Father in heaven. Scenes just flashed back in me that I have remembered begging God to bring Auntie Pat to life right then and there to show His mighty power and miracle to everyone in the hospital. While everyone was cryin' out loud in that ward, I cried silently in one corner having that conversation with God. I even said, "C'mon Jesus! this is one great opportunity to show everyone that You are the true God! Please bring Aunti Pat back into life!" As I repeatedly prayed like this - nothing happened to the point I added something into my prayer. Sincerely I said, "Lord... if you want I can exchange my life for Auntie Pat's just so they won't all cry anymore and that you will be glorified, please do so." - nada! Then I heard God told me, "My dear, that's not really the way I work all the time you know?". I realized, maybe sometimes God just does not want to really show-off. Anyhow, in one of the "wake" nights of auntie Pat, Pastor Sam preached about the life after death we'll have in heaven as we receive the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6)! He highlighted that it's true that we are all going to miss Auntie Pat but she's in a better place now. Highlight of that night was that...while Auntie Pat physically died, one was brought spiritually into Life - her only son, who accepted Jesus Christ that night as his Lord and Savior. I bursted into tears and smiled....whispering to him, "that makes your mom even happier in heaven now, her big time prayer was answered!" It was the very thing that clicked me and Auntie Pat together when I first met her together with Uncle Ron - to pray for her son's salvation. Prayer rocks!!! :P

Okay so much for that. Then I realized something..... I realized that a certain part of me is dead. I have the Life, true, but I suddenly notice that this specific thing in me has died not so recentLy. It could be that I was too numbed to notice it, maybe because of the pain I once "had" within the whole of me. Yeah, you're readin' it right "had" - past tense, so not anymore :P. Then I thought, maybe this part of me is now ready to be resurrected. I closed my eyes and uttered, "Lord, bring me to life" :D

When CG was done, while on the way to church for the USO...something special happened. I smiled and whimmed, "oh-ow.. Lord is that You? starting to bring me to life again already?"....

let's wait and see :)

hubbies & daddies around me...

A few weeks ago I had a short pep talk with my colleague from US, Steven, about how is he doing and how's his wife doing. This is just before our official business meeting agenda. I learned that his wife underwent some surgery few weeks back and that he has shared about some of the few errands he needed to do concerning the kids and ofcourse his wife. He has shared that he has to wake up early to drop the kids off to their school and same at the end of the day to pick them up just so to let the wifey rest and have that complete recovery from surgery. I thought that was admirable =)

I'm glad to hear that everything is fine as he declared.

A couple of days ago, another local colleague of mine happened to mention about what has recently happened to his wifey as well - she had a surgery somewhere in the uterus area. I saw the worries in Charlie's eyes and somehow can sense that he's troubled with what his wife is experiencing even up to this point that I'm writing it. He even complained saying "I cannot even hug her when we sleep because it hurts when she is squeezed because of the surgery". I just bursted out in a bit of laughter but then I thought that's a sweet statement coming from a guy for her wifey. =)

I felt sorry for him as he uttered those words lookin' at his face =(

Sometime last week, I hitched with Tani, a friend, on the way back home. He exclaimed, "I'm hungry! I wonder what's for dinner tonight and what did Ella cook for me?!" Ella, his full time wifey and mommy, is one close friend of mine as well. I've felt that excitement in him looking forward to go home and have that dinner cooked by her and ofcourse to be united with her and Andrei (the son) too. I'd say it's one ideal set-up for a family and Tani's excitement would delight Ella. =)

I thought I would be delighted to know that one as well if I'm in Ella's shoes :)

So what's the point of this blog? In everyday of our lives, one way or another we will encounter or experience a lot of things on the way. How often do we notice those stuffs that are really valuable and not valuable? Which one are we focusing ourselves then? For me, I try to observe, notice, and see things that would be helpful to develop more my character for the present and for the future.

On top of that, while it's a reality that there are hubbies and/or daddies that aren't so good and caring and all that (reality check), great and ideaL things still exist. Talk about being idealistic huh =P

PS: Check out my related blog entry about "Idealism 'n Realism": http://myblog4all.blog.friendster.com/2006/10/idealism-n-realism/

Bye for now! Tata!

let by gones be by gones =)

benign as she is, she drowned in tears once
escaping to breathe is all what she wants
cried and grumbled all night and day
keeping the pain deep inside all the way
yet she managed to stand up, continued to sway!
as hours, days and months passed by
keenly she bear and endured the pain
anguish inside almost made her insane.
mornings became like evenings...
and evenings appeared to be neverending...
resentful, her crushed heart has become
inevitably tragidy was the outcome.
but then she made a difficult choice
encapsulating everything with a poise
casting out all her cares to the only ONE
surrendering all that she has for once
yielding unto Him shall be her dance.

surprises...

Last Friday was a good one! I'm thankful that everyone in our cg was cooperative enough to execute the plans we've made in giving a birthday bash surprise for the 3 of our cg members and family - Euwing, Julie, and Lay Ching. Not to mention the early arrangements that Heng Yin did for the cakes and flowers.... for the guitar playing Shirley showed during worship and Tze Han's facilitating the sharing part. Though we missed some in the cg, we all had a great time together. I just hope that indeed the three were surprised and that it really made them all feel speciaL =) Another highlight that night was the sharing about the Father's love. Pastor Eddie shared a very good illustration about relationships, which is related to our topic. He shared about the 2 cups not being filled emphasizing that only a perfect God can fill each one's cup - referring to couple I supposed.

Anyhow, I am not sure with others but personaLLy, i love surprises. I can say that it's more worth it especially when you receive surprises without expecting it. Hehehe.. oh well, admit it or not.... it's somewhat a norm or should I say inevitable for some if not all to expect some surprises especially during our own birthdays huh! Hehehe... what a paradox - an expected surprise!

The event happened last Friday triggerred me to reminisce my own recent birthday surprises and should I say most treasured past surprises. Here comes my DR attact! Referring to "Delayed Reaction" :) Recently, I felt like I was floating in cLoud 9 and i'm overflowing with gratefulness for all the blessings I've received marking my 30th birthday!^^

The blasts started Saturday before my birthday. Having the chance to pre-celebrate it with some of friends and got a chance to spend a little time with new friends - 'twas Victor who initiated it. We have basically celebrated everyone's birthday and that includes Andrew, Victor, and Chea Keat. It was my first time to have that moment with Hsien Hooi and CheeChung plus their cutie Faith as well. Remember the bi-cycle ride post? :P (This blog is really super delayed, i realized! yaiks!) I can say that I kinda admire the couple especially when they carry Faith unto their arms :) Anyhow, I'm glad I've controlled myself NOT to drink some booze =P

Come Monday of that week (my big day was a Wednesday!), I had a steak dinner with uncle Ron at Friday's. I consider uncle Ron as my father here in Penang and im transitioning to call him dad hehehe..- btw missed the days when we go to BJ Complex together with Auntie Pat (the wifey) to buy DVDs :P. I'm sure during those days, they used to spend time together watching those DVDs huh, how sweet! :)

Wednesday, the big day was dramatic at start then became typical sort of. I started my day with an overseas call from my beloved family in Pinas. They were singin' happy birthday over the fone. Tears came out and I just hugged my pillow thinking about them. At work, thank God for all friends who wished me. My heart leaps everytime I got a greeting... in any way I've received it. 'Coz for me, small things count A LOT! At first I thought of spending my birthday night in my bedroom - ooppss.. don't think I'm a boring person (but yeah sometimes, i am). I thought I wanna spend my birthday time reflecting things - that is after our Nepal Mission team meeting supposedly. As early as lunch, Florence already chased me to have lunch out. It wasn't expected that Euwing and Ms. Win Nee met us up for lunch in ... secret... recipe :)

Now here's the catch, Shirley dearie kept asking me sayin she wants to take me out for dinner starting Monday of that week already. At first, I thought i've got a packed sched that week and it aint because of my birthday but ive got really a lot of stuffs - work and ministry primarily. Finally, I've decided to squeeze in the invitation before our meeting. And guess what? tadannn! There they all arrived with the cake singing the happy birthday song. At first i was stunned but deep inside I was smiling gently already.

Oh well.. I was speechless of how I appreciate everything. Trying to focus on what i'm supposed to do for the hour. Subconsciously, I have never stopped thanking God for everythin'.

Surprises.. surprises... So many things and plans of surprises coming into my mind now. I hope that all of it shall come to pass.. on the other hand.. i suddenly thought.. will there be more surprises for me? Like for now, while i reminisce these things, I feel odd... sigh! Weird eh? =) Well, we have our own weirdy thingy....

Gotta doze off now... i better.. or else...i'll end up becoming weird 24x7 already LOL.

*poof*

the bicycle ride...

She was at the back of the bicycle while her daddy doing the cycle activity around that mini park in one of the place here in Penang. As she sat in her little throne from the back, she was very still... looking around and holding tight to the thing at her daddy's back.

As I enthusiastically entered the scene, I waved at here smilin' and yelling at her name... "Hello Faith... hiyeee Faith...". In her young mind, she stared at me and partially smiled. On and on, the dad (names' CheeChung) went on cycling... as the daddy passed by through some bumps... there she went into bumbing as well....

The scene drifted off my mind for quite some time as I ran into the swing just like a kid too :P and did my swinging glides. Much valuable things happened that day before and after the bicyle ride's impactful starter of that night's event...

Before the bicycle ride - Had a quickie breakfast in a friend's car, attending power hour prayer, then comes the food for the soul time *yum*! After that, I had my "koheeko-fan" whatever for lunch, Nepal mission team meeting. Then off to QueensBay with friends... stroll around, window shop for me, it's a shopping time for a friend. Played some basketball, yes! What an energy - power!

After the bicycle ride moment - I managed to use my...uhm... sorta charm^^ in borrowing the girl's bicycle and did my own scary and stumbling cycle then watched a friend in his cycling lesson day 2. Little by little...other friends arrived, went up to the venue, "wacked" (this is Malaysian's term) the food, did some fun Charades game, blew some candles for someone's birthday (Tze Seong), went down to the park again carrying along our so-called lanterns and candles to have that moon gazing. -- Now, this is basically the ocassion! The Mooncake festival so to speak they call it. We did some walkin' carrying our "thang-long" (did i write it correctly?) or lantern with the glowin' candle in it. We're quite fortunate that time as the host shared about the story behind it. I wasn't really paying attention to it (sorry fLo :P) because somehow I was kinda aware of it already - to top it all, it's about bravery and oh well... what eLse? the four letter word that is full of mysteries :P

Instead, I am trying to really feel and enjoy the camaraderie atmosphere at that time. Open an MS Word doc, type "camaraderie", right click on it to see more of what's "camaraderie".

On a side note - I kinda casted out myself from a distance in the see-saw while they were there carrying my lantern along. Stared at them with a smile. One friend was naughty enuff to come near me and ask something about the never ending topic of all season :P. To cut it short, I just answered... "he will find me" :P

The night was done! Went home with two boy-friends :P. Monday arrived and gone as well! While i've got a LOT of things roaming in my heart and mind (too many to mention :P), I was amazed to myself when "Faith's bicycle ride with her daddy" scene flashed off my mind. Then the topic of that Sunday's food for the soul - "the Father's love" echoed my heart. I am reminded of my heavenly Father's love once again - it's like the Holy Spirit is re-emphasizing and reiterating it. I wonder why huh?! Oh well, maybe I felt unloved that time (kidding....LOL). I just smiled :)

Truly that Faith's daddy loves her so much that he have had spent that time with her. She wasn't totally aware of those bumpy roads that time but she has surely felt it. However, she was still and the trust and security in his daddy's cycling was there.

Unlike baby girl Faith, we, grown ups might be very on top or aware of every bumpy roads we pass by in this ride of life. We tend to do things to avoid bumps even if we need to pass by that specific bump or some would just directly avoid it to play safe huh - such a cowardice! Why not, let's just be still.... and know that our daddy up there is the one really doing the cycling thing? Why not let's just be like baby Faith? She knew that it was her daddy doing the cycling thing and her dad was with her when she passed by those bumps too.

Bible encourages us to have a faith like a child. Let's have a faith like what Faith had in that bicycle ride!

Be blessed! I'm blessed while writing this! =)

something from my heart :D

Joy is what I always have in you
Enticed by the awesome things you do
Searching my heart from its inner core
Untangling my twisted life with every cure
Saturating my soul with much of allure

Comfort you give is incomparable
Heart of mine is indulged and vulnerable
Reaching out to you, do you feel it too?
In loving you is all I choose and want to do
Surreal feelings I have deep inside,
Trust and faith, I will always confide.

Love u soo much, can't wait to see you and hug you!

Wedding vs. Marriage!

"Wedding takes an hour or two, but Marriage takes a lifetime!". This is one liner from our Pastor Sam that really penetrated in my heart and in my mind. I've been here in Penang, Malaysia for almost 3 years and was blessed enough to be invited in a lot of wedding ceremonies already. I noticed that the same ol' me feelin' excited but a bit fearful deep inside. Well, on top of that... here you go Mr. Teardrop on the way to my chubby cheeks :P. Yeah, I believe that for majority.. to be in a teary-eyed feeling during weddings are but normal and natural. I'd say those people who are really numb are realistically admirable but normally abnormal!

One way or another, most of us will or has come to a point of thinking how is it like if "I'm the one in the altar getting married?" Blah blah blah, blah blah blah! Heheheh... Some may be very bold and courageous enough to say that he/she wants to get married while some may say "I don't want to get married else I won't be free anymore." Well... i think everything should have at least a balance and both parties must strive to strike that balance.

I have a lot of friends who are already married and who were married before. Personally, I feel in my heart that I do want to get married but then thoughts of fears and scary things are haunting me - that's natural to a human being right? :P And I'm sure for all of you out there, at certain point you are having the same dilemma. That even my dad is scared for me, can you imagine? I remember one very early morning while he walked me through the streets on the way to work, I asked him..."Papa, question! If you are to decide for me.. would you rather want me not to marry or to marry?". At first, my papa was like errr.. "ofcourse dear it's up to you.. whatever you want...i'll be there to support you." But then I said, what if I want you to decide for me? Then somewhat not really a suprising answer of... "Well, if I am to decide for you I would prefer that you'd rather not get married". Then I bursted into laughter and exclaimed "I knew it, Papa!".

Well... talk about marriage... I'm exposed to friends having issues and challenges with either hubbies or the other way around - the wiffy! The empire of the dark-side is just always there but.. there is the BUT! The bright-side will definitely NOT stop in counter attacking the dark-side :) Now, being exposed to a lot of these... I began to think and reflect... can I cope up with the ups and downs of my own marriage? I believe so :) hahaha! God is there with me and God will also be with my future hubby! I strongly believe that if God is REALLY the center of one's marriage - it won't be an assured perfect one but it will be everlasting! "It is such a wonderful relationship when a perfect God is in the middle of 2 imperfect people." - I heard this statement from one of the hosts in 700 Club Asia. The sence of assurance in the said statement for marriage is basically God! Yeah, we can only find assurance in Him alone! :)

To end, let me leave you with a very sensible and encouraging statement from: "Forces of Nature" movie starring Sandra Bullock and Ben Affleck.

"Marriage has less beauty but more safety than the single life. It's full of sorrows and full of joy. It lies under more burdens but it is supported by all the strengths of love and those burdens are delightful."

Whew! What a statement yeah?! Now here comes the dessert for the above:

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13; NIV Bible

:)

Families are forever!

I saw the above sentence as a caption to a photo in Friendster of one of my friends (my ex-boyfriend actually). Ofcourse, in the pic is his family - wife and kids! It made me smile, feeling the happiness he has having his own family already. Then, I closed my eyes thinking about my family back in Manila and then visualizing my own family soon. It was like, I giggled looking forward to that day!

Well.. the above paragraph was like a bit of an intro about I wanna share in here. I just came back from my CG (Cell Group) meeting and my heart took note of the insight I had from the CG specifically from the "ice-breaker" part. Edmond asked everyone to draw what is a great life for each one of us and then share it to everyone afterwards. I wasn't really surprise that all of us draw something which included "people" figures representing "family". Since 99% of our CG are singles, well...only Pastor Mei and Pastor Eddie are the couple there... all of us draw our picture of a great life, which includes having our own family. Some drew the family with 2 kids, some have 3... and guess what?Pastor Mei drew 7 grand children instead :P. I told her I need to let Eileen (the daughter) know about it.

Anyhow, the above caption of "Families are forever" revisited my mind and reminded me to finally write about it here in blog! And so I'm here writin' about it.

Indeed family plays a very important and vital role to one's life. I remember my primary days, we have been taught that "family" is the very basic institution in a community. I can also recall most of my friends saying.... friends will go away.. but families will always be there. Families will always be the major motivation of an individual may it be to work, to school, or where ever!

At work, I always pass by cubicles whereby the family photos are there in the desk. Ofcourse, I am one of them who put my family picture beside my office stuffs :P

Personally, while I recognize the fact that it aint easy to have a family, I am looking forward to have my own. As early as 7 years old, I have been exposed to a LOT of family stuffs and issues in us - may it be taking care of my siblings as an"a-te" or "che-che" or to act as a mom while my mama is away for work and also even think about food to cook and eat, finances, marriage probs, etc. I have been imagining... how would I look like being a mommy =) and being a wife? At first, I thought, I might be a strict mom (lol) but then I said errr.. not really... I don't think so.

With the experiences I had in our family and having quite a lot of exposures from friends about family issues, I can say that I'm a little bit scared but then I'm also at peace knowing that my God is there to help me and to guide me. And so, I am focusing myself on the positive side of it looking forward to taking care of my own family - because they are forever! So for you guys... please make sure that you treasure your families well. Families are forever! =)

The saga continues...

Finally! The decision to migrate my blogs into a new environment (just like here) has been taken into action! I kinda had a "not so good" experience in my blogs under "friendster" so here I am! At first, I thought to do this during my 30th birthday (lol, i'm being honest! :P) so as to mark sort of a beginning of a new decade in my existence.

Well, I noticed that I swindled down in my blogging and just told myself, I will blog stuffs in my mind and in my heart first...then when I have the time, only I'll type it down... but it never really happened for majority of the thoughts that came into my mind and in my heart.

Anyhow, before I continue the saga of any thought or something that may come up in me I'm taking note of the URL of the pre-queL of this blog. Whew! I spent like more than an hour just to find the settings where to show the link of the very first entry I had but I failed. Anyhow, if by any chance you wanna read my previous blogs.. or maybe read from the beginning, please feel free to click the link of the previous entry shown in the page ya?

URL is:

http://myblog4all.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog_for_all/

I'll make it a point to do this blogging everytime I feel urgency and a must to write down random thoughts i shall have.

That's all for now folks!