out of the blue

We arrived LCCT airport on time. After getting the baggage, both of us dropped by a duty free store to check out the price of Bailey's when we come across the chocolates area. I left him there to roam around more then I head back to where mama is waiting for us.

When he came out from the store, he handed me over a bag with two boxes of Lindt dark chocolates. One was the same as the first chocolate he gave me, thin squares of Lindt dark chocolate and the other was in a heart-shaped container.

It was out the blue and ofcourse unexpected. I smiled.

We had more time to roam around LCCT airport because our next flight will be in another 5hours time. I accompanied my mother to an area where we can sit comfortably and just do anything that we can do to kill time while he disappeared. He said he'll just walk around and check out some shops in the airport, sort of a window shopping.

When he returned to where we were chillin', he handed over a couple of small dark-chocolate toblerone.... yes, chocolates again! I smiled and was glad deep inside. He knew before I wanted to have that kind of chocolate. I saw once like more than a week ago but it was too big and pricey. When he saw the opportunity of the smaller size's availability, he grabbed it, gave it to me.

Out of the blue, my heart smiled.

Out of the blue, he made me smile.

Out of the blue, I've wished it's gonna be always like this.

Out of the blue, everything seems gonna be bright!


-2790

Post 35: Fear Not~!

The funny thing about life here on earth is, that while most of us (for instance, myself) have received that blessed assurance from the hope of all hearts (ask me how & who), still this human nature stuff is being a pain in the *toooooot*, I meant pain in the neck! LOL!

Few days post my 35th year, these variety of fear crept the 'heavens' out of me. Hybrid type of the good and the bad ones that gave me a pinch of paralysis all over - this I must admit. Yes, I'm still human and fear is no stranger to myself too.

Call it a wonderful birthday present, I recently accepted a new role at work that triggered everything. I was grateful, happy and excited because this role is something related to one of the things that I really like or love to do - that is what I dub as, to take care of people although in the corporate realm, they call it people manager. However, the fall back is that I suddenly felt fear and started to think of many things such as how am I gonna manage it, how am I gonna do it, etcetera, etcetera. On top of that, all these "authentic" rumors about manpower reduction because of the changes and transformation about to take place aggregated my dilemma. As those fears roam around within me, this another fear under my "personal life" catalogue emerged. I consider this area as a core of my being so this fear is really freaking me out.  

Now here are the nice part of this blog :) 

While I was murmuring silently and getting myself together praying for refuge from the Lord, the topic we discussed in our life group was about fear and overcoming it. I smiled and sighed a relief. The bible verses we've shared and discussed about, lifted up myself and my spirit then voila, those fear started to get drowned and gone with the wind. Below are some:

Joshua 1:9 - "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

1 John 4:18 - There is not fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 

The undisputed Psalms 23 - this is considered an all time favorite of the many.

Truly, the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to the dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:13).

Even Facebook's "God wants you know" apps gave me an insight of encouragement regarding fear that helped me to swim across its ocean. Is it funny or just timing or maybe God is doing something about it to speak to me?

And when we had a combined meeting within my current org yesterday, the big boss shared quotes about "change" that are rather encouraging and enchanting.

At night, a dear friend dated me to have some post celebration... although part of it was, me using her escape goat to buy that Phiten necklace for her boyfriend's birthday. I realize.... I really appreciate this kind of simple things, the strolling, mall-ing, plus tidbits of chitchat, and of course the eating. These somehow helped me get passed of thinking those destructive fears in me.

With the dilemma of fear vs. all of the above weapons, I'm once again ready to face fear and conquer it with victory! Hence my mantra is....

FEAR NOT!

-2740

at thirty five...

I am not in-denial of my age but it's just that, I still can't believe I'm already thirty five years old... boooya! LOL! What's the big deal? :P Main reason I would say is that all those past memories since I was a kid from primary days, to high school life, college days, until now....are still vivid in me that I could re-tell the associated stories in a detailed manner!

Oh well... it's been four days since I officially and biologically turned 35; It's Saturday anyway and I can't procrastinate no more longer, hence, I kicked the butt of my fingers, electrocuted my brain, and pound my heart to make sure I'd get this birthday blog moving, soooo... here I am.

At thirty five, I said I want to reflect about things I have accomplished in the past until now but instead, I thought about things like what's gonna happen in the future, what else can I do, should I do, or can still accomplish... of course not by myself and own will alone.. but with God by my side.

At thirty five, I don't want to brag that I'm wiser but instead, I want to recognize myself for having additional experiences in life that makes me wonder more and explore more like a child. Despite of the noticeable variance in emotions and physical notions, which is more on the passive side (I'm kinda disappointed to myself that I'm starting not to be active, physically!), my mind is cautiously tougher and eager.

At thirty five, it has come to my attention that I still have a lot of things to learn and to re-learn. It might sound quite unusual to others but for me, it is something that I thought is necessary as well. I need to learn not to care too much about things and other people so as not to end up spoon-feeding them and many more possible not helpful or not good outcomes (or over spoon-feeding I'd say) and that they can learn on their own too or giving all ending up nothing left for my own self tending to be burned out and just tear apart out of the blue. Come to think of it, everything that is too much is really not good huh?! I need to re-learn some of the basics as well so as things won't go complicated and more confusing, and there's the so-called "many to mention".

At thirty five, I can somehow describe how is the feeling when you have been to both sides of a certain situation (of course not at the same time okay!). Stuff like for example, being in a situation where there's a "nice-guy-friend" in your life that you came to a point of misinterpreting it as if he likes you and he is basically in love with the other girl, and then suddenly you're that girl whom the guy is in-love with and he was a "nice-guy-friend" to another girl who misinterpreted it she thought he likes her. Another one would be, you were so poor before that you have nothing to eat at all and now food just rots in your fridge because it's just too much or way more than you can have; instance like you were a loner then suddenly you're surrounded with people and "friends" and then you're back having just "few" true friends and a whole lot more examples! Oopps don't get me wrong, those were just examples, don't have to be connected or related to me okay! For illustration purposes, lol. Suddenly I remember the song "Both Sides Now" (Joni Mitchell's version ya!) and of course non other than Paul. In Philippians 4:12, he wrote, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

At thirty five, I'm neither happy nor sad. Instead, I'm hopeful and joyful. It's true that as humans, we tend to be either sad or happy. Being sad or happy is contributed by the circumstances happening in our lives, by the things around us, may it be material or other stuff, or by the people around us whether we love them or not. However, having hope and joy deep inside? They only point us towards a one, The One! our dear Lord Jesus Christ! On my actual 35th birthday, there were things that could have been contributed to me being sad and in tears; happy and in all smiles; but the joy and hope I have deep inside my heart ended me both in tears and smiles both in a good positive way.

At thirty five, I'm just at peace. Our peace is not in the absence of troubles but in the presence of Jesus Christ. That leads me to saying I am complete, I am complete with the presence of the lover of my soul in my heart. I am complete in Jesus Christ. I am not perfect and still have flaws, funny thing is that there's a possibility that some flaws have just grown up but I know for sure that God is still not finished with me still...Yes, not yet... no... not until I literally depart from this fallen world and go home to heaven! :P



-2706-

The Inevitable~!

I just finished watching John Lloyd & Bea's "One More Chance" movie again. Upon watching it for the second time, it made me realize that there's one very thing that is inevitable to happen - to get hurt.

There are things that even though we say we do not want to do to hurt other people, still, it is inevitable and will possibly bound to happen.

I began to think about it really hard. Yeah, I've been drastically hurt like around 6 years ago.

I was totally wrecked and even to the point of literally not being able to breathe because of the pain when I got hurt. But then again, looking back, I'm glad that I'm able to fully smile today and say... hey, it wasn't that bad after all.

I survived the wreckage. I'm still right here, able to stand up, enjoy and live life to the fullest - knowing that I have God with me all the time.

Indeed, pain is inevitable and part of reality (even God himself experienced all kinds of pain, I must say).

However, at the same time, it helps you to grow and be more mature, and it will be an open door for you to realize that there are more goodness in life ahead of you. So...

Cheer. Up. Look. Up. Life. Is. Good.

:)

New Year's Eve 2013

Part of my thoughts on what to do for the festive season was the New Year's eve. If I'm in Manila, it sure is a big thing next to Christmas. Everyone in our family will have our respective dish/food to cook and lay down on the table. Then just before the midnight strikes, the table will be loaded with all kinds of food not forgetting the 12 kinds of fruits in the center. Somehow, it's a Filipino belief that if you have those 12 fruits in the table, it would mean 12 months of prosperity! Not bad huh!

Anyhow, I have thought of doing something new for this year; which is to go out and wait for the countdown somewhere... maybe in a mall with the New Year countdown by myself. Alas, because I just had my new housemate moved in during the middle of December, I have company. She didn't have the work and as we were talking on what to do for the new year's eve, she kinda insisted that we cook, celebrate the eve and stay at home to welcome the new year. She furthermore mentioned that it's good that we're at home on the first day of the year. I said, okay, that's not a bad idea.

And so we did. In the morning, we were up early to go to the wet market and buy the ingredients we're gonna cook. We had paksiw na pata, shanghai roll, nilasing na hipon (drunken prawn); chocolate cake, and leche flan.

While in the market, I received a text message from my dear godfather, Uncle Ron inviting me for New Year's Eve dinner. I just can't say no to him and Adrien every time he invites me for dinner. So I was at Lavinia apartments for dinner and headed back home by around 10pm, just in time to fry the shanghai roll and prepare the "media noche" table.

I want to thank God for technology, I was skyping with my family while eating the media noche we've prepared so it's like I'm with them. Side by side, my housemate is also skyping with her boyfriend and her family overseas.

Overall, it was a good new year's eve celebration. I can't wait for December 2013 as I have already set my mind that I'm going back to Manila to celebrate these important occasion with my family and friends!

I bid goodbye to 2012, say hello to 2013 with warm embrace, full of faith, hope & love!

Thank You Lord once again for everything!