This morning...I woke up realizing that tears flowing down my whole face, wandering about the question: why is it more painful when the one you love is the one hurting you? And somehow, there's a cloud of heaviness within my heart that is slowly being released as I cry out silently while cuddling in bed.
As tears continuosly flowing down my cheeks, my heart is somehow taking hold of God accompanying my sighing with words of prayer unto Him. I can't imagine myself without JC by my side... I wonder how God can do it when all of us whom He loves and majority are like walking away, hurting Him? I'm pretty sure He's hurt badly the way we do too since we are made in His image. But...nah.. He has done it all and won the victory...and me? I'm not God... that's why I need Him all the time.
Anyhow...at first, I thought it was just because of one good friend (or should I say used to be good friend?) who's been acting so weird lately that I asked myself why in the world I'm so offended in most of the person's gestures? It's a bit odd because when I think about other friends, it's a different of a scenario :S Anyhow, this situation is actually something not new to me anymore. Perhaps, the interval of time that lapsed makes me a little bit obnoxious that I tended to react this way. Errrr... crying is one good outlet Imma say.. but..yeah crying it out to someone is better... good thing I have that constant someone with me all the time :P
Well, I guess there's really nothing constant in this world except "change" and we just have to bear and deal with it - ofcourse not by our own might and own strength but by His Spirit and His Power.
I began to think about other things and other people as well as my day moves along. One way or another, there are a lot of people out there who may feel sadness, loneliness and a various kind of struggles and challenges... and the likes. After all, I'm not alone in that arena. Perhaps, I may have a little bit of edge or difference from the most - I have this someone's peace that surpasses all understanding, ultimate joy, & big-time hope of eternity .
For it is said, those who sow in tears will reap songs with joy!
Now, I gotta get ready to visit the "grannies" somewhere here in Penang.....
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2 comments:
Becky,, hindi ka parin nagbago,,ganyan ka pa rin,,napaka senti mo..mabuti pa..wag ka masyadong mag senti para mabawasan yang eyebug mo..para may makapansin sa yo,,mag papayat ka..at taba mo na.. edi lalo kang mag hihintay sa wala.. sa totoo lang, karamihan sa mga lalaki..looks muna..bago attitude,, lalo ka na..ang type mo..mga gwapo..kaya dapat magpa byuti ka..
P.S. Baguhin mo yung nasa profile mo "bleed for you" X-rated ang dating.
Errrr... hey isnabero.. sino ka? Hehe...excuse me? I'm not into gwapo guys po ok?!?! Attitude muna bago looks ok? Well.. not my lost if guys won't see me as me physically :P
Kung gugustuhin kong mag pa byuti physically, I can definitely do that at kaya ko makipagtalbugan... Mataba? So what? Hehehe.. ok nga yun eh, huggable? Kapag payat, walang maha-hug, puro buto!?! And I don't think I'm that fat! Pinapalabas ko lang na mataba ako the way I dress-up but u haven't seen the "sexy" me! kidding...HAHAHA..:P
anyhow, thanks for the feedback.. Appreciate it though...let me think about it ok? =)
Magpakilala ka, such a cowardice pag hindi! :P
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