This morning...I woke up realizing that tears flowing down my whole face, wandering about the question: why is it more painful when the one you love is the one hurting you? And somehow, there's a cloud of heaviness within my heart that is slowly being released as I cry out silently while cuddling in bed.
As tears continuosly flowing down my cheeks, my heart is somehow taking hold of God accompanying my sighing with words of prayer unto Him. I can't imagine myself without JC by my side... I wonder how God can do it when all of us whom He loves and majority are like walking away, hurting Him? I'm pretty sure He's hurt badly the way we do too since we are made in His image. But...nah.. He has done it all and won the victory...and me? I'm not God... that's why I need Him all the time.
Anyhow...at first, I thought it was just because of one good friend (or should I say used to be good friend?) who's been acting so weird lately that I asked myself why in the world I'm so offended in most of the person's gestures? It's a bit odd because when I think about other friends, it's a different of a scenario :S Anyhow, this situation is actually something not new to me anymore. Perhaps, the interval of time that lapsed makes me a little bit obnoxious that I tended to react this way. Errrr... crying is one good outlet Imma say.. but..yeah crying it out to someone is better... good thing I have that constant someone with me all the time :P
Well, I guess there's really nothing constant in this world except "change" and we just have to bear and deal with it - ofcourse not by our own might and own strength but by His Spirit and His Power.
I began to think about other things and other people as well as my day moves along. One way or another, there are a lot of people out there who may feel sadness, loneliness and a various kind of struggles and challenges... and the likes. After all, I'm not alone in that arena. Perhaps, I may have a little bit of edge or difference from the most - I have this someone's peace that surpasses all understanding, ultimate joy, & big-time hope of eternity .
For it is said, those who sow in tears will reap songs with joy!
Now, I gotta get ready to visit the "grannies" somewhere here in Penang.....
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
SHIRLEY MOY...
Serious look from the outside, little cheeky deep inside.
Hommie type of a person, she's one friend I can lean on.
In the course of my stay here in Penang,
Rich moments together are treasured with a bang!
Little she knows...I value her so much.
Emblem of true love and friendship that is,
Yielded forever in the inner core of my heart.
Moving on for greater heights, she has my full support....
On the shadow of HIS wings, she will rise up and be anchored.
Yet while is that so, she'll be missed A LOT.
Shirley my dear....it has started to sink in already. Sigh, I'm not sure how to react when the time comes that you will finally be in SG. Anyhow, it's for your own good and growth. Promise to pray for me ALL the time as you know if not all, MOST of what's inside me. Thank you so much for being such a "lotsa" to me.... Thanks for listening to the things I am NOT speaking... Know that I'll be missing you every now and then! Love you sis! HUGZ!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
what's up, dad?
She's more than thankful for the blessings she has been receiving from Him especially caring friends (not to mention the "indirect" care others giving her..lol..). There was one friend of hers who was thoughtful enough to really wish her that someday she'll have the guy who will really take care of her - she thought, is she really difficult to handle? hahaha. What a compliment that he even blurted, "if only I'm not married" and yes this guy is married.. she bursted in laughter...
Most of her friends even telling her, "you deserve someone better". She will just normally shake her head, "everyone deserves better" she thought.
One time, she asked a friend.. why does she deserves someone better? The answer was, "Yes, you deserve someone better because you have so much love to give that it should be appreciated"... Well, she just kept quiet.
She thought that if her family and good friends can really care that enough for her, how much more her daddy up there? He should be up to something really really awesome :)
It was dawn time, she smiled and cuddled, grasping the cool breeze of the air clinging to that hope she has, looking forward to that very moment. Standing in that triangular shape of an area during one of the "stop over" on the way to an island (that was about 2-3am), she looked up and searched for the brightest star shining and whispered... "what's up, dad?"
:)
***
Most of her friends even telling her, "you deserve someone better". She will just normally shake her head, "everyone deserves better" she thought.
One time, she asked a friend.. why does she deserves someone better? The answer was, "Yes, you deserve someone better because you have so much love to give that it should be appreciated"... Well, she just kept quiet.
She thought that if her family and good friends can really care that enough for her, how much more her daddy up there? He should be up to something really really awesome :)
It was dawn time, she smiled and cuddled, grasping the cool breeze of the air clinging to that hope she has, looking forward to that very moment. Standing in that triangular shape of an area during one of the "stop over" on the way to an island (that was about 2-3am), she looked up and searched for the brightest star shining and whispered... "what's up, dad?"
:)
***
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Level of commitment? (Sakae-Sushi excerpts)
Okay, so I've been wanting to blog about the above for quite some time already (as usual) ...but just as what I've always been saying, no mood or rather no triggering factor! Finally, I've experienced something recently that made me sit down and write on this one! I guess I should not let the "triggerred-me-to-write" mood pass by, else this will just vanish and end up to nothing! You're asking what was the factor or rather I should say "what were the factors"? Oh well, first it was having such opportunity to have lunch in Sakae-Sushi (in KLCC) with the person who gave the statement I have well taken note about the above (long time ago already)... and guess what? In a Sakae-sushi resto as well, here in Penang! :P The other one would be the liners I've managed to highlight using my marker in the book I'm currently reading (and hopefully ill finish soon!) entitled "Joyfully Single" by Harold Sala, while waiting in Starbucks near Aquaria and having cupssss of coffee. lol.
"The level of commitment of one is not as much with the other that's why majority end up in break-ups or end up being single instead, also some are afraid of commitments so..." - I believe this was roughly the statement a good friend blurted out during that "dinner" with another friend in Sakae-Sushie in Queensbay. Please pardon me as this has happened a looong time ago already and as far as my memory is concerned that's the statement :P I can still clearly recall how I nodded agreeing to what he has said, which practically makes sense right? Offline - I checked myself how committed I am to a certain thing especially in a relationship. Not that I'm lifting my own bench but I am committed :P I began recalling my "good ol' days" when I had a long distance relationship once. I was still studying that time and because I'm attached, I never dated other guys and even allowed some invitations by a guy to go out. There was even a time that one girlfriend of mine told me that I can actually do whatever I want to do, maybe play around and the likes...since my boyfriend is in the US. I just told her "no way girl, I'm not like you :P"
Now for the liners (or quotes or whatever! :P) I've highlighted in the mentioned book, check these stuffs out (disclaimer: might be long but it's worth reading!). These are the lines I liked in the book:
*..Accdg to dictionary, commitment is the act of giving or putting something in the trust of another. In the broader sense, it is the act of pledging or binding yourself to a certin course of action or to a person as the case may be."
*Commitment is the decision to go forward in a relationship, to hang in there when the going gets tough, to take one more step when you are convinced all strength is gone. Commitment is the decision to stand by someone no matter what the temperature of a relationship may be or the force of the wind that blows against it.
*Commitment is at the foundation of all human relationships.......To be a human is to long for commitment from others.
*Commitment goes far beyond relationships. (here's what I really like...) No cause, no endeavor, no goal can really be attained without commitment.
*(and this one is the best)... In giving something through commitment, however, you GAIN far more than you give up!.
Pretty heavy liners huh?! Do the above make sense to you because for me - yes they do. Sounds scary?! Be afraid NOT! :) Especially reading the last liner again - looks like it's saying there's an ROI when you commit yourself :)
I dug my "quotes" collection from my archives and found this: "A decision is made with the brain. A commitment is made with the heart. Therefore, a commitment is much deeper and more binding than a decision."
Well... you just need to do it by putting your heart in it :)
Oh btw, I enjoyed both dinner and lunch Sakae-Sushi events!
***
"The level of commitment of one is not as much with the other that's why majority end up in break-ups or end up being single instead, also some are afraid of commitments so..." - I believe this was roughly the statement a good friend blurted out during that "dinner" with another friend in Sakae-Sushie in Queensbay. Please pardon me as this has happened a looong time ago already and as far as my memory is concerned that's the statement :P I can still clearly recall how I nodded agreeing to what he has said, which practically makes sense right? Offline - I checked myself how committed I am to a certain thing especially in a relationship. Not that I'm lifting my own bench but I am committed :P I began recalling my "good ol' days" when I had a long distance relationship once. I was still studying that time and because I'm attached, I never dated other guys and even allowed some invitations by a guy to go out. There was even a time that one girlfriend of mine told me that I can actually do whatever I want to do, maybe play around and the likes...since my boyfriend is in the US. I just told her "no way girl, I'm not like you :P"
Now for the liners (or quotes or whatever! :P) I've highlighted in the mentioned book, check these stuffs out (disclaimer: might be long but it's worth reading!). These are the lines I liked in the book:
*..Accdg to dictionary, commitment is the act of giving or putting something in the trust of another. In the broader sense, it is the act of pledging or binding yourself to a certin course of action or to a person as the case may be."
*Commitment is the decision to go forward in a relationship, to hang in there when the going gets tough, to take one more step when you are convinced all strength is gone. Commitment is the decision to stand by someone no matter what the temperature of a relationship may be or the force of the wind that blows against it.
*Commitment is at the foundation of all human relationships.......To be a human is to long for commitment from others.
*Commitment goes far beyond relationships. (here's what I really like...) No cause, no endeavor, no goal can really be attained without commitment.
*(and this one is the best)... In giving something through commitment, however, you GAIN far more than you give up!.
Pretty heavy liners huh?! Do the above make sense to you because for me - yes they do. Sounds scary?! Be afraid NOT! :) Especially reading the last liner again - looks like it's saying there's an ROI when you commit yourself :)
I dug my "quotes" collection from my archives and found this: "A decision is made with the brain. A commitment is made with the heart. Therefore, a commitment is much deeper and more binding than a decision."
Well... you just need to do it by putting your heart in it :)
Oh btw, I enjoyed both dinner and lunch Sakae-Sushi events!
***
Thursday, March 19, 2009
somebody...
I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
He'll get my support
He will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
He'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact he'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
He will understand me
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
***
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
He'll get my support
He will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
He'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact he'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
He will understand me
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
***
Monday, March 16, 2009
the door next to me..
A while ago when I was taking my normal cup of coffee from the vendo machine in one of our pantries, I've glanced the heavy outpouring of the rain - it was so darked outside. Some known and unknown colleagues came in through that door, some are wet some are not. They managed to make it to the office inspite of that heavy rain - good one!
Checked some emails and a bit of reading when I turned my back to the door neaby my desk, I'm amazed to glance the sunshine this time. I said, that was quick! Can't help it, I went out and stood there beside the door...staring the beautiful scenery I can see. Sunshine has started to emerse from within the haze caused by the rain, magnificent mountains and trees, some cars parked nearby, some people walking. I sniffed the cool breeze of the wind and closed my eyes to digest the awesome sight I just gazed upon - how I wish I had a handy camera with me to snap that view! Nevermind, my eyes and heart managed to capture it so vividly!
Sunshine after a quick rain - deep inside I was reminded. These turmoil or crisis or whatever you wanna call it that are happening around, are just quick rains...the sun will rise again...sunshine will come...
The door next to me - gave me access to the reassurance of God's faithfulness and being in control :)
Look around us - God may be using simple, ordinary or typical things to remind us that HE IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! Smile and be grateful :)
***
Checked some emails and a bit of reading when I turned my back to the door neaby my desk, I'm amazed to glance the sunshine this time. I said, that was quick! Can't help it, I went out and stood there beside the door...staring the beautiful scenery I can see. Sunshine has started to emerse from within the haze caused by the rain, magnificent mountains and trees, some cars parked nearby, some people walking. I sniffed the cool breeze of the wind and closed my eyes to digest the awesome sight I just gazed upon - how I wish I had a handy camera with me to snap that view! Nevermind, my eyes and heart managed to capture it so vividly!
Sunshine after a quick rain - deep inside I was reminded. These turmoil or crisis or whatever you wanna call it that are happening around, are just quick rains...the sun will rise again...sunshine will come...
The door next to me - gave me access to the reassurance of God's faithfulness and being in control :)
Look around us - God may be using simple, ordinary or typical things to remind us that HE IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! Smile and be grateful :)
***
Monday, March 2, 2009
When I Met You....
I called home this morning, and to my surprise my niece answered the phone. After a short talk explaining to me why she's not in the school, she blurted out that she has a song to sing for me... here you go the lyrics - and I thought of Him! i feel like singing right now..la la la..~~~ check out the song in this link: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HexI3etJh7s>
When I Met You :)
There I was, an empty piece of a shell
Just mindin' my own world
Without even knowin'
What love and life were all about
Then you came
And brought me out of my shell
You gave the world to me
And before I knew
There I was so in love with you
Chorus:
You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I'm feelin'
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I've gone beyond existing
And it all began
When I met you
I love the touch of your hair
And when I look in your eyes
I just know, I know, I'm on to something good
And I'm sure, my love for you will endure
Your love light up my world and take all my cares
Away where they can't bother me
(Repeat Chorus)
Bridge:
You taught me how to love
You showed me how tomorrow and today
My love, is different from the yesterday
I knew, you taught me to love
And darlin' I will always cherish you
Today, tomorrow and forever...
And I'm sure, when evening comes around
I know we'll be making love
Like never before
My love, who could asked for more
(Repeat Chorus)
When I met you...
When I met you...
Love you so much JC! :)
When I Met You :)
There I was, an empty piece of a shell
Just mindin' my own world
Without even knowin'
What love and life were all about
Then you came
And brought me out of my shell
You gave the world to me
And before I knew
There I was so in love with you
Chorus:
You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I'm feelin'
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I've gone beyond existing
And it all began
When I met you
I love the touch of your hair
And when I look in your eyes
I just know, I know, I'm on to something good
And I'm sure, my love for you will endure
Your love light up my world and take all my cares
Away where they can't bother me
(Repeat Chorus)
Bridge:
You taught me how to love
You showed me how tomorrow and today
My love, is different from the yesterday
I knew, you taught me to love
And darlin' I will always cherish you
Today, tomorrow and forever...
And I'm sure, when evening comes around
I know we'll be making love
Like never before
My love, who could asked for more
(Repeat Chorus)
When I met you...
When I met you...
Love you so much JC! :)
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