What could it be, God?

Mr. 2010 has come! Indeed, a lot of things happened while 2009 was still around. If I am to keenly scan my handy calendar where I wrote some of the simple things happened on a specific day of 2009, I'd say there are still more in which I've failed to take note.

While I have decided to choose to welcome 2010 full of excitement and enthusiasm, which I really did wholeheartedly ;), I can't help but think of one very thing happened that shook the whole world if I may say.

Well, it has been what.. about almost 3 months since the tragic and historical Ondoy typhoon catastrophe happened and yet it keeps on haunting me and urging me to put whatever thoughts and feelings I have had and are having right now into writing.

From the very day that the tragedy happened, I've instantly asked myself "why such a drastic event?" They say that you can't argue with the course of nature and I wasn't really doing that! lol. In fact, abruptly I've asked God, "God, what are you trying to tell me, us, and everyone with what you've just allowed to happen?". Not to mention that after that storm, comes another storm in the same country (where else) Philippines, and then there you go the earthquakes somewhere in Indonesia, what else? The news about the war going between Norh & South Korea and Imma say a whole lot more of events that really made me think a lot!

I don't know why such a huge bulk of emotions (good & bad) I have deep inside on this one. Not that my family was part of it (I'd say that's just a little) but I believe the concern I have to mankind is... ugh! unexplainable! In the Ondoy tragedy, the whole of Metro Manila was submerged into flood in which everyone is considered traumatized regardless of its status in life. Poor, rich, middle class, famous, normal citizen. I remember I've received a text message saying, "God is humbling Metro Manila for what has happened". Well, I can say that could be one of it... but I've observed and noticed some random stuff in conjunction to the historical Ondoy flood and made me ponder on a lot of things. Here you go:

1.) The human nature of goodness emerged in this incident and so do the nature of the darkside if I may say. Some people did their very best to help whoever they can help. Those who were not affected by the flood voluntarily opened their homes to the victims and even shared whatever supply of food and the likes they have. Some even risked their lives just to save others who were carried away by the flood and a whole lot more of instances. On the other hand, I guess some were possessed by the devil to take advantage of the situation and even had the nerves to plunder goods and the likes. Sadly, that's still a reality!

2.) The importance of unity in family. I saw one photo whereby the father and son are pushing one small boat in which the mom and daughter are riding. Together, they face the adversity happened in unity. Such a noble piece. Well, I was away from my family when that happened - it was completely excruciating especially when you knew that you're in such a physical comfortable condition while your love-ones are there suffering like hell! Well that time, I was physically comfortable so to speak but my mind was like crazily mad because i couldn't do anything but to be still and keep trusting God that He is in control! My sister was talking to me over the phone crying and crying because it seemed impossible to finish cleaning up, etc during the aftermath and everything is practically gone. I have no choice but to keep encouraging my sister that everythng will be alright and that we should be grateful that nobody got hurt. Where I was, I am thankful that my spiritual family really pulled me up and helped me through their prayers and encouragement. I've felt that they were united in helping me not to go insane. God is good!

3.) The value of friendship. My highschool friend, Sol opened her place and her resources so that my family can get in touch with me and let me know what has happened. Rain was non-stop but I was constantly online communicating with my friend and asking for updates on what's happening. Through Sol, I was also able to talk to them over the phone and over the internet - thanks to her really! Also, these are the moments I'd say I'm thankful for technology! Other friends I have here in Malaysia (mayit be Pinoys or Malaysians =)) started to send me email/s and text messages about it. They have no idea how grateful I was, how it touched me and helped me to think sanely and continuously believing that God is good, all the time! I have also realized more that people have really different ways of expressing things directly and/or indirectly. Well, it made me think how expressive I am or how do I normally express the things I want to express to everyone around me.

4.) How you view the Almighty God. I don't know about the others but this Ondoy didn't really help much in untangling my view of God, lol. I know and strongly believe that God was in control that moment and He will always be. While in the shallow phase of myself are kinda mix feelings of anxieties, worries, hurt & pain; in the very deep and inner core of me was peace. His peace that surpasses all understandings.

5.) The resilience of Filipinos. When I had my Christmas vacation, I had some sharing with my siblings about what happened. They shared the hardship and fun stuff they did - cheerfully. They practically cleaned everything during the aftermath while playing with waters and the remains of the flood. I can imagine. Probably they were chasing one another with the water coming out from host with fun and laughters! My sister shared about sharing of the food and eat together while the whole house is submerged into flood. The smiles & posing they had during picture-taking under the heavy rainfalls and the likes. I've also mentioned that I saw one video in facebook whereby a group of friends did a video of showing or making a tour for everyone in their submerged house. They did the video while swimming in the water - funny huh! :) Cecille told me that Philippines has become a shield to other nations especially in South East Asia. If not because of the Philippines blocking other countries, it could have hit a few nearby. Filipinos, in our very nature, whatever the obstacles, however it's so challenging, can easily get up and continue and move on with life. My sister said that during interviews, majority can still smile and be happy despite of what has happened. And then she cited the hurricane Katrina incident whereby people don't want to be asked & interviewed at all and even talk a video of their faces.... I was like really? i didn't know about it.

5.) The final one - made me ask again, What could it be, God? Ondoy was just the icebreaker... or should I say the explicit one. While that's happening, other things in other parts of the world is also happening. Reminded me of the passage about the End of the World and the Signs of End of time. Could it be God is telling everyone that the end is really near? Could it be that God is telling all to return unto Him?! Well, at least for Ondoy, almost everyone in there turn unto the Lord and prayed.. well what about now? Is there something going on that people are urge to turn unto God and pray?

What could it be, God? Could it be that the end is coming?! Oh I can't wait! For when the end has come, I know where i will be :)

How about you? Might wanna think about it for this 2010?

Ta!

Once in 15 years!

Errr... here you go myself once again! Abruptly, I have to make a disclaimer. I've been having quite a few "topics" in mind to write about but this one really triggerred me so much that I crammed and turned out for me to make time in.. oh well.. blogging about it! Well, partially I did it offline while I was on the way to the office this morning and since I was in the shuttle public transportation here in Manila, I blogged! Guess how? Through my mobile as if I'm texting a long message to someone! The art of innovation! lol...

Reason behind, go figure! =P

Nothing beats friendship.

Even the bible itself records a lot of stuff about friendship and truly, it's one gem that if genuine, will truly serve as one of life's greatest treasure... and with that...we shouldn't simply take for granted. Well, there are times that as humans, we tend to "not be able" to express however and whatever we feel personally. I'd say be sure to find an outlet to be able to do so. Release of whatever it is because it's a GREAT feeling for the positive side of it and quite a relief, for the negative of it.

My vacation to Pinas enabled once again our so-called "SOP" (Simply Outrageous Pals) group to have a time of catching up and chillin'. It has been almost 15 years since we have had that "Valentine Picnic" in PUP grounds, hence the official formation of the SOP! Last night was quite not a passe' one or our usual "old-fashioned" way of doing "it". With the normal Len being the organizer (assisted by me :P), I was glad that we have had Digs as our designated driver for the night!

Four of us met up in Glorietta4 and we're all happy that Carol, the only mother in the group was able to join the fun! We drove a bit to the nearest "starred" gas station Caltex to pump gas, then off our exciting road trip without really knowing how to go to our desired destination - Tagaytay!

Well, we managed to reach Tagaytay primarily through the help of the signs! How I wish that "signs" in whatever we desire to have or to do are just as clear and direct as what we have on the road! In about less than an hour time, we started rolling down our windows to savour the cool wind and breeze of Tagaytay as we continue to hit the road!

Upon arrival at the heart of the place, we indulged ourselves to the "sinful" but yummy dinner dishes, famous in towm - Bulalo with matching Crispy Pata plus pinakbet! (Sheesshh.. how am I going to be a bridesmaid at Shirley's wedding then? Grrr... nevermind, I have about 4days before her wedding to at least flatten my tummy! :P)

Hot soup of bulalo in the midst of cold cold and starry starry environment, indeed, 'twas a sumptous and chilled dinner. After a short picture-taking at Leslie's vicinity, off we went to the nearby Starbucks for our "coffee" session =) Upon ordering, we went up at the open-air second floor area of it to continue plunging ourselves with the cool breeze. As we start to literally chill, I took out my laptop as per Len's instruction to bring it and showed her cute-wholeheartedly created AVP surprise (ask me what's AVP :P). Here you go the video:



(It took me the next day though to fully process and absorb that AVP... especially when I heard the background song of it, it's really "kewl".)

It was just 1am but we've decided to cut it out and drove down back to Manila already to be home. We dropped off Carol in Cavite then on the way, I suggested that the 3 of us go straight to Digs' place for an ON (Overnight or sleep over). In about 30mins or so time, we've reached our "homey" home base during our college days. The usual me felt nostalgic and started to blurt out the memories we have had in that room especially during thesis times! lol...

While in nostalgic mode, I paused and really savored everything in that so called friendship! Things started to dive in my heart and in my mind with regard to this certain treasure that helped me lived my life to its fullest....well.. i'm still alive so I should say "living" it to the fullest.

I must admit, our friendship have had its own up and down moments.... conflicts here and there in terms of characters. There was even a time that Digs' literally slapped my face in one of the classroom in our School building (lol), my ex has become Len's now ex already (nyehehehe :P) and a whole lot more.

However, we were all still in that bond of this unbeatable and well.. yeah unbreakable bond of friendship.

SOP - I appreciate each and everyone of you eventhough sometimes, I really can't bare some of your "trips"! Haha! Here's to LOVE! Cheers to the next.. uhmm.. 15 years? :D

Ooopppssie, for my other friends - please don't get jealous ya, you all have a place in my heart ;)

My Strengths? :P

Okay, so this incremental year of mine is quite extra-ordinary! Reason? I ain't really sure but I'm sure there's one reason behind this 'coz I always do believe that everything happens for a reason :P

I remember there was once birthday of mine too whereby the whole house is flooded and all I gotta celebrate it is to help drain the flood from my room... that's funny I should say...singin' happy birthday to myself while doing the job of shoo-ing the water!

This year, I am not sure why I have to stay at home in bed to have some what they call it "rest"! In my mind, this is not a good time to rest since i think I was full of rest already so duh! Anyways, in between the hours of today, 13th August 2009... I happened to finally decided to take the test in the "StrengthsFinder" book that my manager gave me. Here you go the results:

My top 5 themes:
-Includer
-Connectedness
-Learner
-Restorative
-Positivity

1.) Includer: People who are especially talented in the Includer theme are accepting of others. They show awareness of those who feel left out, and make an effort to include them.

By nature, you find a way to involve everyone so each person has a good experience. You strive to create a sense of belonging and acceptance. When someone feels left out, you often are the person who finds a way to engage that individual in the group’s activities and conversations. Because of your strengths, you make no claims of being a “morning person.” You need time to transition from sleeping to waking and from waking to working. You tend to gain physical energy and mental sharpness later in the traditional workday. Depending on your biological clock, your peak performance period can occur during mid-to-late afternoon, in the early evening, during the hours before midnight, or in the hours after midnight. Driven by your talents, you might welcome the company of numerous people. There may be some individuals with whom you choose to spend less time, however. Instinctively, you capitalize on your ability to ask questions and listen to people’s answers, especially when meeting strangers or newcomers. You might even be tempted to eavesdrop on what they are telling someone else. Not wanting anyone to feel like an outsider, you are apt to draw individuals into the conversation. Unquestionably, you search for reasons to involve them in your own or the group’s activities. It’s very likely that you derive a lot of satisfaction from doing things with people, especially those you know personally. Usually you are familiar with each one’s
unique abilities and personality traits. Frequently this information gives you an advantage when you work together.

2.) Connectedness - People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

By nature, you often experience an unexplainable and spontaneous bond between yourself and others. This is a natural occurrence with individuals whose talents, limitations, interests, goals, needs, or fears are apparent to you. Driven by your talents, you want people to seek your company and crave your friendship. Although you often sense you somehow know a person the very instant you meet, you usually are awed by the existence of this unexplainable yet very real bond. It’s very likely that you sense you are linked to all humanity. You contend that harming another human being eventually harms you. Misusing the environment has personal consequences, you argue. This perspective on life influences your thoughts, actions,
decisions, or choices. Chances are good that you consider people more important than things. The value you place on humankind guides your decision-making. It also influences what you say and do as well as what you choose not to say and do. Instinctively, you may be guided by the notion that no one can live life without some help from others. Perhaps this idea compels you to consider how what you do and say affects people you know and individuals you will never meet.

3.) Learner - People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.

Because of your strengths, you long to gather information about individuals. Your “need to know” is rarely satisfied. The more facts you gather, the easier it is for you to understand the person’s unique strengths, limitations, interests, likes, dislikes, or goals. Unquestionably, you study human beings one by one. Your ongoing observations of selected individuals probably provide you with interesting insights into human nature. Chances are good that you sometimes toil without much rest. Maybe you want to pinpoint useful and intriguing facts. To some extent, you may need to explain why particular events unfolded as they did. Perhaps this information permits you to do more or better work. It’s very likely that you may appreciate opportunities to acquire knowledge, gain skills, or experience new things. Perhaps
you refuse to let your mind grow dull by being complacent — that is, smug or self-satisfied. Instinctively, you sometimes dedicate yourself to acquiring specific types of knowledge or using particular skills. Maybe you are self-taught. Maybe you work with an instructor, trainer, coach, or mentor. You might embrace opportunities to expose your mind to new ideas. You might welcome the chance to practice new ways of plying — that is, diligently practicing — a trade or a craft. Driven by your talents, you thirst for new ideas and knowledge. Often you lose yourself in a book. You pore over the ideas contained on its pages for long stretches of
time. Why? You want to absorb as much information as you can.

4.) Restorative - People who are especially talented in the Restorative theme are adept at dealing with problems. They are good at figuring out what is wrong and resolving it.

Because of your strengths, you periodically identify problems others fail to notice. You might create solutions and find the right answers. Perhaps you yearn to improve certain things about yourself, other people, or situations. Maybe you are drawn to specific kinds of classes, books, or activities. Why? Maybe they promise to give you the skills or knowledge you seek. Chances are good that you sometimes give thought to what you could do in the coming weeks, months, years, or decades. Perhaps you accomplish more when you have goals. Simply considering what you might do better may motivate you to excel at certain tasks. You might be inspired to use some talents more than you have in the past. Driven by your talents, you occasionally spend time pondering what you have an aptitude or gift for doing well. From time to time, you discover things you need to do a bit better. By nature, you might consider certain things you need to do better as a person or as a professional. When you are
reflecting on important matters, you might be surprised to discover how many hours have passed without your even noticing. Instinctively, you may be inclined to check and double check things you do or are accountable for doing. Perhaps you are motivated to make sure everything is done right. You occasionally identify areas where you might need to upgrade your skills for creating structure or putting things in order.

5.) Positivity - People who are especially talented in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.

By nature, you may have an exceptional desire to leave a legacy of value and worth — to live a life that matters. This partially explains why you are compelled to make a meaningful and lasting impact on the planet or people’s lives. Occasionally you urge individuals to do their part in making the world, or at least their little corner of it, a better place for all living things. Driven by your talents, you genuinely feel deep affection for all kinds of people. You naturally befriend individuals you encounter. They automatically sense you are kind and caring. You automatically discover reasons to like and appreciate them. Often you recognize good qualities they fail to see in themselves. Because of your strengths, you may tune in to
the emotions or needs of certain individuals. Perhaps your intuitive insights tell you if a person needs to be cheered up, offered support, or given approval. Occasionally this gift of yours helps specific types of people grow personally or professionally. It also may free some of them to feel good about themselves or what they can do. Chances are good that you hope that everyone befriends you. Your enthusiasm for life attracts people to you. Many individuals feel happier and more upbeat about life in general after they have spent time with you. Instinctively, you occasionally inspire people to try new things or adopt a more upbeat
outlook on life. Perhaps your words and/or your attentiveness bolster the self-esteem of others.


-end-

She feLt cheated..

"I feel like cheated if like that", a very good friend blurted out to me when we were having some kind of a talk about some important stuff.

From her statement above, I silently admired her, how she cares for her friend. If that friend of hers could probably know more about how she cared, I guess... the friend will be more than flattered and perhaps I would say... couldn't find the very right way to express the gratitude =)

Anyhow, I somehow didn't really know what has "really" happened but whoever is that friend of my good friend.... I'm sure she/he will just be fine and okay, knowing that the probable hurt is somewhat shared by my friend feeling cheated too.

I hope it makes sense to you all.. LOL

Ta!

Mad Lion!

There's a verse in the bible that says: in anger, do not sin! And another one, don't let the sun set and go down without getting rid of this kind of emotion!

My self-control is being harnessed.

Yeah, I can say I feel mad (or perhaps irritated to make it a little bit shallow!).

I just need an outlet to be able to let this one go quickly!!!! Oh well, the sun has set, but I guess I still have a few minutes to utilize before it formally comes to what we call "evening". I aint don't wanna sleep with it, ewww!

My known character of being jealous is being tested. Heck, I don't even have the right to be so and yet why is it that I think I'm feeling that way! "You're being rediculous!" I scolded myself. LOL... "Come-on cut the crap!" :P

No point, I should better focus myself to a good thought instead.

Wait, come to think of it. My being jealous helps me to improve self-control - not bad I guess. But hey, I gotta stop this being bad small "j" all the time! It's a taboo in the bible! Geezzz..

Ok, I'm done!

:P

a great kick-start gift..

Fifteen minutes before my "one on one" talk with my manager, I decided to go to the pantry and just be consumed with the presence of silence.

I'd say, I feel dull at that moment. As I gaze at the mountains, I thought of God. I was trying to feel some kind of a different heartbeat but no extraordinary upbeat occured. Nevertheless, at the top of my mind and implicitly from the inner core of my heart, joy immersed. I shook my head and remembered something from a book I've read. Happiness is conditional, you need an object or subject to be able to feel it. However, joy is unbeatable, it has a higher value because hope arises... a hope that is only found in Him! The hope of bliss!

I blurted out, "Lord, I may feel dull at the moment, but I'm thankful that you have instilled joy deep within me. I surrender this perhaps another attack of loneliness unto Your mighty hands and I will be satisfied and contented with Thy presence in me.

Enough of so much of drama...lol. So I went to the room to proceed to my weekly meeting with my manager. Guess what? She started our talk with a very great news, which I have been hoping for... maybe two years already! I almost jumped out of my chair and shout out loud! I have put this thing in my faith - to be commenced next year but oh well, God is just awesome. I thought He just want to cheer me up after what I've just told him... about what.. like 15 minutes prior to the news! Clever and funny God I have! :D

Well, I don't wanna talk about my birthday but I suddenly thought that this is one great kick-start gift from Him.

=)

SriLanka Special Excerpt...

-a special write-up excerpt while in Sri Lanka. I happened to grab my notebook and pen that time and started writing-

-but I'd say wait for more about the trip! :P

***

July 22, 2009
1:10pm local Sri Lanka time

*Letting "it" go*

I thank God for the flexibility of writing! At least I can simply grab a pen and a piece of paper (i'm more a conventional person :P) and let go of my current thoughts and feelings from within should I really need to let it out!

I'm in a van now on the way to Kandy, a city in Sri Lanka, when I suddenly (uhm, not really a sudden I guess) have this rush feelings of missing someone. I'd say..I consider this someone a new special gem in me. Whew! It's been quite a long time already I guess since I've felt this penetrated emotion, which is yet so special. I thought I'd pour it out in writing else I dunno what will happen to me..

Well, somehow "it" came just right in time after a "quite" not so good feeling of offense from a close friend too. With this special beat inside me, the offense just vanished! Yay!

With this missing someone special, I smiled. I can attest that it's a good one but somehow it's a little bit sad because I can recognize that it's tossed with sense of conscious fear embedded within. Sigh! I closed my eyes, reminding one of my most fave verse in the bible to myself, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

Anyhow, at the corner of my heart, there's a different inkling of a smile that is filled with hope and enveloped with joy and happiness! :)

My deear Lord JC, I commit this great emotion into your mighty and strong hands! Please be with me as I go on this yet sort of a new journey of my existence! =)

-end-