I think I'm faLLin but a bit scared ^^

"Penang is reaLLy beautifuL!". I uttered out of the bLue last 4th of October '08 ('twas a Saturday!), whiLe my good friend was driving on the way to another friend's house in Park View. She just said, "oh yeah....it reaLLy is very beautiful!". Both of us smiled and giggLed! Staring at the trees over the mountains on the way to our destination and at the same time looking around, made me blurted it out wholeheartedLy! Moreover, it made me think how simpLe life can be in here since we just came out from the wet market to buy stuffs to cook! I'd say, it's simple but full of mysteries and adventures :)

"Penangnites (this is referring to Penang People) are so lucky because they got Penang!" This was the statement my friend said one early morning whiLe we're on the way to work, taking the coastaL road to the office. Both of us were gazing our Left side of the car window...lookin' at the sea and the trees and mountains beyond the beach as he drove along! I nodded and whisper, "Tell me about it!" then continued staring at the beautiful scene on my Left! My friend some more said, "I don't think I want to go back to where I've been from anymore and will just stay here for good!". I told him, "same here! and you've got more advantage because you have a local girlfriend!". I did some pushing to him to propose a marriage already! LOL! And then I thought, what a lame excuse to get married huh?! Then mentally punch myself out to cut the crap idea!

A whiLe ago, a friend brought me to one sea-side chiLL place somewhere in Tanjung Bunga. I've suggested to go Ayir Itam Dam since I've been wanting to be in a "literal" serene pLace to just be quiet and be still... but you know what happened already. Anyhow, I've agreed with my friend then as we reached... I smiLed deep inside 'coz I've already heard the splashing of the waves communicating to my heart instantLy. I'd say this is another place I wanna be though... so it sufficed my desire to be still. Reminded me of the song "Be Still" and as I listen siLentLy, I felt like soaring above the waves. It was about to turn dark but I tried my best to open wide my small eyes to be able to gaze the scenery, waiting for the almost completed sun-set to fuLLy submerged anticipating the stars =P

"What? Did I make you fall inlove to Penang again?" I heard this as I turn my sight to my friend's direction. I replied "he he he" and then deep inside I said, "I'd say, even more inloved!" then continued listening to the waves and feeling the cool breeze of the environment.

Oh well...I've been here in Penang for about 3 years and 1 month to be exact (as of this writing!), and as I spend my days and my life here...I can recognize that I am falling inlove to the place. Inlove in a sense that I almost don't want to let go of it, opting myself to stay here even on very special occasions we have back home. Pity myself for the remorse of missing my family & vice-versa though. You may think that I'm really having lotsa great times here in Penang that's why I'm feeling this way but you're wrong! I also have some down moments at stake and that there are also times that "tragic" stuffs happened or happening. It's just that good stuffs stand out!

With this great feeling of falling inlove with the place, comes a little bit of scary thoughts! Well, main "explicit" reason why I can still stay here is because of the job - what a blessing I consider it! I am trusting that the impLicit reason is that God wants me to be here for a purpose or maybe purposes? :)

I'm a bit scared in a way, thinking what if Penang will be taken away from me? I mean the job will suddenly swindLe and that my company decided to "shoo" me away from this specific site? lol.... Then I suddenly thought about it..."hmmm... maybe I should not Let myself be engrossed with the pLace too much or should I say...maybe I should control or stop falling for Penang so that it won't be that frustrating when time comes huh?". What do you think?

Then I began to see the issue in a different dimension - the real literal falling inlove with someone thingy! I remember telling some friends that I wish and hope not to fall inlove again so as to avoid being hurt! That's where the area of "scary" part comes in! Then a friend told me, "if you're only falling inlove when you know that you won't get hurt... then it's not love anymore at all... you're treating it as if it's just a game already... you win when you don't get hurt, you loose when you're hurt?! Is that the way it shouLd be? :S

Anyways, I've got some few items in mind to pray for about this Penang-related stuff. I also have some plans but then I am surrendering everything to God! Lord-willing... He shall grant the desires of my heart as I continue to deLight myseLf in Him.

Lord, anyhow... no matter what..I will still love You!

No matter what, I vow and opt to Love You with all my innermost being, my heart and my souL!